Parents & Family / Question
Published: January 26, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Hi I'm 13 and I want to get my ear pierced(I'm a boy). Every time I mention it to my parents they either brush it aside or just say no, refusing to discuss it.How can I convince them that it's a good idea and they should let me go?
Signed: Talking To My Parents About Piercing My Ear
Dear Talking To My Parents About Piercing My Ear,
The fact is that you cannot convince your parents that it is a good idea. No matter what you say about it, they may always maintain that they do not feel ear piercing is acceptable at all or in certain situations. It is important that you understand you cannot make them change your minds, and go into a conversation with them about this with reasonable expectations of what will come out of it. Ask them to schedule some time where you can discuss the piercing issue uninterrupted. Tell them that you would like to come away from this conversation with an understanding of what their feeling are about it and why they feel the way they do – and that you could like them to come away with an understanding about what the ear piercing means to you. This type of conversation is not about convincing someone to change their mind and getting your way, but about fostering understanding about where the other person is coming from and seeing if any compromises can be made. Once your parents hear from you why this is important to you, they may agree that this is fine to do, or you may all have to “agree to disagree” and accept that you and your parents simply have different opinions on the piercing issues.
In addition to fostering understanding between you and your parents about one another’s opinions, a conversation might be helpful to determine what the rules are when it comes to piercing. Let them know that you want to know at what age or what point in time you would be allowed to do this. What you could do is to see if there is any room for negotiations or compromise when it comes to their rule.
If you want your parents’ attention and consideration about this matter, it is important for you to conduct yourself in a mature, calm way and to have a plan about what you want to say to them prior to your discussion. You also need to be prepared that the conversation may not go the way you hope in terms of them accepting the idea, and have a plan of how you want to respond if that it is the case. It might be helpful for you to brainstorm with a friend or trusted adult about how you want to approach this conversation, and to role play a conversation so you can feel comfortable when you get to the real thing.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Among young people ages 12-17, prescription drugs have become the second most abused illegal drug, behind marijuana.
