Friendships: Dealing With People's Differences / Question
Published: January 31, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
A new girl in my class just moved from the Yukon. I became instant friends with her. She's been to my house a couple times, but whenever she came over she started swearing a lot. Me and my friends are huge believers in not swearing at all. I've told this girl i really don't like it and asked her to stop,but she hasn't.What should I do?
Signed: New Friend Won't Stop Swearing In Front Of Me
Dear New Friend Won't Stop Swearing In Front Of Me,
TeenHealthFX thinks that you need to start by raising the issue with your friend again. Reiterate to your friend that cursing is considered to be something that is very offensive to you and your friends. Tell her that you are surprised that she still curses so much despite your having asked her to stop in your presence – and ask her what has made it hard for her to stop. Did she not take your request seriously? Is this just a bad habit that is really hard for her to break? In her home and culture is cursing considered not to be that big of a deal? Get a better understanding of why she has not stopped. Then tell her that it is very important to you that she doesn’t curse around you, and offer to help her to work on breaking this habit if she wants to.
One thing you can do is to give her the “No Cussing Challenge.” A student, McKay Hatch, started the No Cussing Club at his school in 2007, and created a website for the club that now has thousands of members. The “No Cussing Challenge” has people refrain from cursing, swearing, telling dirty jokes, or using any other kind of bad language – replacing it with polite, respectful, and kind language. You could offer for your whole group of friends to take the challenge together and to encourage one another with it so she won’t feel singled out. To learn more about taking the “No cussing Challenge” and the No Cussing Club, go to the following link: http://nocussing.com/aboutncc/thenocussingchallenge.html.
FX does want you to remember that while you can tell your friend what is important to you, she may not be at all interested in giving up cursing. If that is the case, then you will have to think about what you want to do. Will you accept this side of her because you would like to keep her as a friend, or will you distance yourself from her because this is too big of an issue for you? If it comes to this point, only you will know what feel best for you.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Most smokers begin smoking as teens, and the average age of initiation is 12.5 years of age.
