Parents & Family / Question
Published: April 27, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
My parents were seperated for 5 years. I lived with my dad and babybrother and my mom with my older brother. Now that my parents are back together my mom has a babygirl from some other guy (wich is 4 now) that she was with and then she got pragnant by my dad and had another girl(wich is 1 year now). i thought i could've start a normal life since i had to take care of my babybrother for those 5 years and missed out on alot of things, but it seems like i keep paying for my mom's mistakes. My parents give most of the attention to the daughter her and my dad had and it seems like she forgets she has another 4 year old daughter. The 4 year old was very sweet when she had just moved in with us but now she dont listen to no one and she screams most of the time, sometimes she dont even eat. It hurts to know that she acts like that because she wants attention and i try to get closer but im about to turn 16. i dont want to miss out on another part of my life. Even tho sometimes i stay home instead of going out with my friends. She sometimes gets on my nerves and push her away but that because i have stress on my own. i dont know what to do.
Signed: Keep Paying For My Mom's Mistakes
Dear Keep Paying For My Mom's Mistakes,
TeenHealthFX thinks you have a very complicated family situation going on right now and can appreciate that you are feeling concerned and irritated with these current dynamics. Ideally, FX thinks that it would be great for you and your parents to be in family therapy. There are clearly some relationship issues going on here and a therapist could help you and your parents to address those issues so that you are feeling the relationships are stronger and closer, and so that you can feel okay about leading the life of a 16 year old without feeling overly worried about your younger siblings.
If your parents are resistant to the idea of family therapy, then FX does think it is important that you meet with a therapist on your own. You cannot control what your parents do, but you can work on finding a way of relating to your parents that is most helpful to you, as well as to develop ways of being helpful to your younger siblings without feeling overly responsible for them or resentful of them. FX understands that you are in a difficult situation, and we hope you will seek out the guidance and support or a mental health professional, or a trusted adult at the very least, to get some assistance in dealing with this situation.
If you live in northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teens whose parents talk to them regularly about the dangers of drugs are 42% less likely to use drugs than those whose parents don’t, yet only 1 in 4 teens report having these conversations. 
