Parents & Family / Question
Published: June 10, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I've never had a boyfriend, one reason is because there isn't a really good selection around me, two, because I've never been asked by the right person, and three, because I wouldn't want to take them home to my parents. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong my parents. They're loving, kind people. But I just feel very uncomfortable with the idea of a love interest meeting my dad and mom. My mom basically because she would embarrass me, as immature as that is. My dad because he's definitely the type that would get the shotgun out (not really, we don't have guns in my house, but the whole spanish interrogation, size you up, "what are your intentions with my daughter" thing). I don't tell my parents about anything like crushes because they'll tease me about it and it makes me feel like I can't talk to them about my romantic advancements. How do I get myself to stop feeling like I can't bring a boyfriend home? Thank you, Parents Will Probably Find Out About Fiance When Wedding Invitation Is Sent.
Signed: How Can I Feel Less Embarrassed To Bring A Boyfriend Home To My Parents?
Dear How Can I Feel Less Embarrassed To Bring A Boyfriend Home To My Parents?,
TeenHealthFX can appreciate your concerns about introducing a future significant other to your parents – it’s a worry that many teens have. FX thinks that the most important thing in situations like these is to have open communication about the issue, and we recommend that you speak to your parents about what is specifically bothering you. Ask your parents if you could sit down to discuss something with them – let them know you would like some time to talk with them in private and without interruption. And be clear with them that this topic is very important and serious to you – so it would mean a lot to you if they could approach it that way, too. Then let them know exactly what is on your mind. When you talk to them, FX thinks it would be helpful for you to have some specific examples of the kinds of things you are talking about in terms of what they might do to embarrass you so they have a clear idea of what you are talking about. Finally, let them know that if anything ever comes up about having a crush, that it would be hurtful to you to be teased about it. Let them know that as adults your love-life may seem like something “cute” to them, but to remind them that when they were teens it probably didn’t feel silly at all to them, but quite a big deal – and it’s an important and sensitive issue for you as well.
FX would also like to remind you that it can be extremely common for teens to see their parents as these embarrassing figures during adolescence. So, to a certain degree, you may need to just accept your parents for who they are and think about why they act as they do. For example, your father being so protective is probably just a reflection of how much he cares about you and his desire to make sure that you are with someone who will treat you very well. In addition, keep in mind that if your boyfriend truly cares about you, he will be more than willing to deal with whatever experience he may have in meeting your parents. Third, your future boyfriend will be focused more on being on his best behavior and wanting to make a good impression on your parents rather than on sizing them up. Finally, if your mother says something silly or your father acts in an overprotective manner, your future boyfriend will not look at their behavior as a reflection on you. You may feel embarrassed by them, but he won’t look at it that way – he will see you for who you are, not for who your parents are.
So talk to your parents, remind yourself that these are feelings many teens go through and get through, and don’t leave the introductions until you are walking down the aisle!
Signed: TeenHealthFX
A national study of women ages 15-44 found that women were almost twice as likely to receive contraceptive services rather than STD services.
