Difficulties In Making Friends & Not Enough Time With Friends / Question
Published: May 7, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I find it hard to make friends because I lack self confidence, but when I do make them I get so paranoid, thinking that they talk about me behind my back and wonder if they even like me? At the moment I have a friend and I really like her she is my best friend and she has told me that I am hers, but I am not my total self around her. And only being 75% myself around her I haven't really had any real true friends so I find it hard to be myself around her thinking she may not like me, I bottle things up inside that I need to talk to someone about because I am embarrassed to talk about them with her. Is there any websites that can help me improve my self-confidence?
Signed: Hard Time Making Friends - Lack Self Confidence & Bottle Things Up
Dear Hard Time Making Friends - Lack Self Confidence & Bottle Things Up,
TeenHealthFX is concerned about you. Feeling embarrassed, uncomfortable, and concerned about how other people (even our friends) perceive us are all normal feelings. However, when these feelings make it difficult to make, enjoy, or sustain friendships and relationships perhaps it would benefit you to speak with a professional about this.
Start by talking to your parents about how you are feeling. You can even show them this question and answer. They can help you to find a counselor who is specially trained to provide you with the tools you need to increase your self-confidence and assist you in making and keeping good relationships. A good counselor or therapist is someone you can confide in and be there as a support for you. If you cannot talk to your parents about it, you still need to get help. Talk to a trusted adult like a guidance counselor, school nurse or teacher. They can help you access help and talk to your parents.
As far as websites that are available, you may want to start right here at TeenHealthFX by checking out these questions: "Friends" and "Me and Relationships".
Another word on websites: While websites provide excellent information, they are often just a beginning, and it is difficult to provide exact assistance in a personalized manner. Your guidance counselor may be able to hook you up with either local or school resources including clubs whose goals are to help students gain the skills necessary for becoming good friends.
Again, FX really wants you to get help so talk to an adult soon.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Less than 33% of teens with depression get help, yet 80% of teens with depression can be successfully treated if they seek help from a doctor or therapist.
