TeenHealthFX - Answers - Terrible Jealous Feeling

Significant Others: Girlfriends & Boyfriends / Question
Published: May 9, 2002

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I'm a 17-year-old male who is sexually active and I have a question that has nothing to do with sex. I'm a very insecure guy when it comes to my girlfriend going out, or even just talking to her guy friends. I don't mean to be like that, but there is this overactive mind that keeps telling me stories about how she's 'gone out to cheat' and makes up elaborate stories. These stories drive me insane, and sometimes I get really emotional. Very jealous, worried, etc. I'm wondering if you have any solutions that might help me with this. I really don't like it, and my girlfriend knows. She doesn't mind, but I do It's a terrible feeling.

Signed: Terrible Jealous Feeling

Dear Terrible Jealous Feeling,

It sounds as though you are really struggling with this and it is understandable why you want to stop feeling this way. While there is no easy solution, the positive side to this is to realize that you have choices in the way you interpret situations, and think about them. The key to changing your feelings and actions is to understand why you feel and act a certain way. One reason may be the insecurity you mentioned. Insecurity comes from many different things, but no matter its source, it generally prevents a person from fully enjoying relationships with others. Because trust is the foundation of every relationship, these stories that your mind develops, prevents you from totally trusting her. This in turn can interfere with you having a positive relationship with this person, and others as well.

TeenHealthFX encourages you to reach out to a school counselor, parent, or other support to assist you with this. Resolving this will help you become more secure and help you build good relationships in the future.

Also, because you mentioned that you are sexually active, TeenHealthFX encourages you to practice safer sex.

Signed: TeenHealthFX