Significant Others: Girlfriends & Boyfriends / Question
Published: May 9, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
My girlfriend is gay, and I'm so scared that she will leave me for a woman. When she was a child she was raped by her father, and I've tried to explain to her before that her "need" for women is only a mental imprint because of her father. I was wondering if I was right and if there was anything I could do to make her understand this.
Signed: My Girlfriend Is Gay
Dear My Girlfriend Is Gay,
You sound really concerned about your girlfriend's well-being, which is very caring of you.
It is unfortunate that your girlfriend was raped by her father. Hopefully she has sought out counseling for that to deal with the many issues that go along with abuse. Children trust adults and look to them for protection. Rape and incest violate that trust. Getting help can assist her with issues related to sexual identity and relationships. She can call the Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
To answer your question, sexual orientation (straight, homosexuality, bi-sexual) is a biological and genetically predetermined trait that is not the result of environmental factors (rape/incest). It is presumed that she is bi-sexual by the information that you have provided. Regardless of her sexual orientation, it is very important for you to be respectful of her decision to like men or women.
For more information, check out these sites:
- Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Youth Resource -a site geared toward gay, lesbian and bisexual teens
- Lambda GLBT Youth OUTreach
- Gay & Lesbian Youth in New Jersey.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teens who drink are more likely to be victims of violent crimes and sexual assault, have serious problems in school, be involved in drinking-related traffic crashes, and develop problems with alcohol later in life.
