Not Satisfied With Being Single / Question
Published: August 5, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am a paraplegic teenager. Because of this, guys never even talk to me. All my friends have boyfriends and I feel left out. Why do guys treat me like this?
Signed: Feeling Left Out
Dear Feeling Left Out,
TeenHealthFX is sorry to hear that you feel as though guys do not speak to you because you are paraplegic. For our readers, paraplegia is a general term describing the loss of movement and/or sensation in the legs and/or torso following damage to the nerves of the spinal cord. As the definition says, your condition is a physical one, and has nothing to do with who you are as a person. Unfortunately, sometimes guys (or girls!) see a person with a physical difference and assume that the person is different on the inside also.
The absolute best way to combat this is to be yourself. You mention your female friends, so you are obviously capable of forming relationships with other people. Also, the fact that you have asked for some guidance suggests that you have the strength and courage to change people's misconceptions. Just try to remember that, although it may seem so at times, guys and girls are not entirely different. Most guys enjoy talking with their friends about similar things that girls talk about. If you try to relax and give guys a chance to get to know you as a person, then you will make some male friends. Establishing friendships, and being comfortable with being you, are the two best first steps towards building romantic relationships. If, once offered the chance to know you, someone still does not wish to speak to you because of your physical condition then TeenHealthFX doubts they are worth knowing in the first place.
A good website we found for support is the SCI Info Pages (www.sci-info-pages.com). It has lots of resources and information on support groups that could be really helpful for you. If your feelings of being left out get lead to you feeling lonely and depressed, you may need someone to talk to about it. Ask for help by letting your parent know how you are feeling and they can get you hooked up with a counselor or therapist.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
A national study of women ages 15-44 found that women were almost twice as likely to receive contraceptive services rather than STD services.
