Friends / Question
Published: September 20, 2000
Dear TeenHealthFX,
How can I deal with being envious of my friend? She is smarter, prettier and has more money than I do!
Signed: Envious Of My Friend
Dear Envious Of My Friend,
TeenHealthFX is not happy to hear that envy is ruining a friendship; it can be a very damaging and dangerous feeling. It is time to look beyond your "friend" and her attributes, and concentrate on the real issue, you! If this person is really your friend than she should also be your equal.
Friends usually share things in common, like hobbies, other friends and music. Try not to judge your own qualities based on those that your friend possesses. You obviously hold your friend's qualities in high regard and that is what makes her special to you, but what about your own? Each individual has personal traits or qualities that make them unique and different from one another. This is what makes them beautiful human beings - not just the brains or money they possess. By being confident in yourself, your envy will no longer be a burden on your friendship. Make sure though that your friendship is a two way street. If she is your friend she will love you for the person you are and the unique qualities that you have. Check out "Modeling And Low Self Esteem" for ways to build positive feelings about yourself.
TeenHealthFX understands that the teenage years can be difficult in that you are still unsure about yourself and place a great deal of emphasis on your peers and what they think about you. It is to your advantage to learn to love yourself and take great pride in who you are. Others will do the same. Good luck in your search for self-confidence and renewed friendship.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Homicide is the second leading cause of death among 15- to 24-year-olds overall. 
