Significant Others: Girlfriends & Boyfriends / Question
Published: June 18, 2001
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I was a rape victim quite a while ago and I just recently got into a serious relationship. My boyfriend is in Illinois and I'm in New Jersey. I am finding it difficult to cope, because I'm scared of the physical part of the relationship. Is there anything I can do to get the flashbacks out of my mind for good?
Signed: Boyfriend In Illinois
Dear Boyfriend In Illinois,
What you are going through is very common among women who have been sexually assaulted. Physical intimacy and trust are two issues that will take time for you to feel comfortable with again. The best way to deal with the trauma is to talk about it with a counselor. Some women prefer to meet with a therapist while others join a support group to meet with other women also trying to understand their experience. As the healing progresses the flashbacks should diminish.
You may need more time before you are prepared to have a sexual relationship. If your partner is understanding, then he will be patient and supportive of you. Do not force yourself if you do not feel ready. A consensual sexual relationship is something that you are comfortable with and choose to participate in.
If you need help finding a therapist or a support group you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888.247.1400.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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