Parents & Family / Question
Published: June 4, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Dear Teen FX I was recently found a news paper article about a pedophile ring and I found out my father was involved were moving house all our computers have been taken away and my dads told us its because of Iraq. People keep asking me if it's true at school, and I've told 1 friend about it and she laughed at me. Is my dad lying to me? And should I still love him? And what can I do to make it go away, I'm really scared and I think my friends are trying to keep away from me and my family. PLEASE HELP!!
Signed: Father In Pedophile Ring?
Dear Father In Pedophile Ring?,
TeenHealthFX can only imagine how difficult this must be for you to deal with. If your father's name was printed in the newspaper as having being connected to a pedophile ring, then it is most likely he has been charged with a crime. Whether or not he is guilty of this crime is a matter for the courts to decide.
In any case your world has been turned upside down and it has to be very confusing for you. Your father does owe you an explanation about what has happened, but he may not be able to be honest with you for a variety of reasons. You could show him the article and let him know that you are aware what people in the community are saying and how it is affecting you. If he is not able to talk to you about the situation then tell him that you would like to attend counseling as a way of helping you sort this all out. It also would be helpful to have other family members in the counseling session since this is bound to have an overwhelming affect on everyone in the house. Even if dad is able to communicate with you counseling still would be a good idea. The situation will not go away by itself and the best thing to do is to deal with it in the healthiest way possible.
You have no obligation to explain your father's situation to your friends or people at school. If asked, you could simply inform them that the matter is being handled by the legal system and you are not in a position to talk about it. You may have to endure some uncomfortable situations but eventually these will pass.
TeenHealthFX cannot answer the question of whether you should love your father or not. This is a decision only you can make. However it is important that you realize that you can dislike a behavior and still love the person.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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