Parents & Family / Question
Published: July 19, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I can't stand my parents! I'm 15 and have only 3 years left of high school but I don't think I can wait that long. My parents continuously call me nicknames I've explained to them I don't like being called, and they never listen to me. They always say I do things that I don't and I'm always the first one blamed for everything, regardless of the situation. They do not support any of the things I want to do- particularly with music and sports- but I love doing what I do and I'm actually good at it. My twin sister is never treated like I am- they act like she's the Perfect Child. Plus, my dad has a serious anger problem and my mom is an in-denial alcoholic, so they always over react to the littlest things lots of the time. I feel like I may end up hurting or even killing myself because of them because they're the reason I used to cut! Though I've gotten a lot better with my best friend's help the problem started with my parents and it's because of them I may start again. Please help me- I'm in central NJ and I am thinking about emancipation and running away.
Signed: They Never Listen To Me
Dear They Never Listen To Me,
TeenHealthFX understands that your family situation is very difficult for you. Everyone wants their parents to love and support them unconditionally, no matter what their interests are. Many times parents say and do hurtful things without realizing that they are being hurtful to their children. This does not mean it does not hurt you, but they may very well be surprised at how upset you are feeling.
Hurting yourself, cutting yourself or running away will not solve any of your problems, they will only add to the family conflict. Family therapy can help all of you look at what is happening in the family and learn to how to treat each other with love and respect.
You have already talked to your parents about them calling you nicknames; show them your question and our answer and let them know again how you are feeling and that you want to go for counseling to improve the situation. If your parents are not receptive, talk to another adult that you trust so they can intervene on your behalf like a teacher, school counselor or your doctor. They can also recommend family counselors to you.
In central New Jersey, you can call the Access Center at the University Behavioral at 800-969-5300 24 hours a day, seven days a week for resources near you. You can also log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) website for additional resources.
If you feel that your situation is abusive you can also the New Jersey is Division for Youth and Family Services (DYFS) is 800.792.8610. They will conduct an investigation and if you are deemed to be in significant danger there is a possibility that you would be removed from your home and be placed out of your home until your living situation could be resolved. In most cases of abuse the goal is for the family to receive treatment (family and individual counseling) and eventually be reunited.
Again, TeenHealthFX knows that this is a difficult situation for you but it is not worth harming yourself. If you think you may hurt yourself, call 9-1-1 immediately or contact the Crisis Hotline at Morristown Memorial at 973.540.0100. You can also call the Suicide and Crisis Hotline at 800.999.9999.? Both hotlines are 24 hours, 7 days per week.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teens with untreated depression are more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors, leading to higher rates of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
