Female Body Concerns / Question
Published: August 12, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
If you are giving a guy a hand job and he puts his Johnson away before he cums, and then he does the same thing when you are giving him head what does that mean? Is he gay, does he have STDs? Is he being polite? HELP!
Signed: Stimulation, But No Orgasm
Dear Stimulation, But No Orgasm,
TeenHealthFX hears that you are confused. There are really two sides to this coin - one physical, one emotional, both equally important.
Let's first look at the emotional. Having sexual relations requires open communication between both partners. Have you openly asked your boyfriend what he is feeling when this happens to him? You can try speaking to him about communicating what you enjoy during sex by telling each other what feels good and what doesn't. If you feel that the topic of sex is too heavy or embarrassing to bring up in conversation, then perhaps you two are not emotionally ready to be sexually active. You could discuss with him the feelings he might be having about it and if it still seems uncomfortable and awkward, then perhaps you both should refrain from any sexual relations that you may not yet be uncomfortable with until you is emotionally ready.
As noted in TeenHealthFX questions pertaining to sexual activity, please keep in mind when performing any type of sexual activity to practice safer sex.
As far as the physical part of your situation is concerned, it is possible that your boyfriend has not reached that stage of puberty where his body begins producing sperm and is capable of having an ejaculation. Prior to the ability to ejaculate a male's body goes through several changes. The penis starts to grow in length then width. The testicles and scrotum begin to enlarge and pubic hair starts to get darker. Facial hair is starting to develop and the voice is becoming deeper or at least hitting unexpected high pitches (cracking).
If he has reached some of these and has not been able to achieve an ejaculation through some sort of stimulation, then TeenHealthFX suggests he talk to a doctor. If he doesn't feel comfortable talking with his own doctor, and he lives in Northern New Jersey he can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973.971.6475 for an appointment. Outside of this area he can contact the local teen health center or Planned Parenthood. In addition to answering your question, these health centers can also provide you both with information and materials for practicing safer sex against STD's and birth control. Teen health centers can see you at a reduced or no cost basis without your parent's permission and with complete confidentiality.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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