Sexual Readiness? / Question
Published: October 24, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Hey there, I am a 14 year old girl and I am anxious about having sex. My older cousin and my friend that lives with me tell me sex is so wonderful and that I will enjoy it my first time. So that makes me want to jump into it even more. Its weird cause when they were my age they lost there virginity too. But I wouldn't lose mine just to be like them, I am just so anxious to actually try sex for the first time. But just the thought of it and all the chances you take when you have sex scares me, plus what if a guy eats me out and he thinks I am gross, that I don't give good head (if I try it) or I am not good in bed. Plus in my vaginal area I have some skin that kind of hangs out of my lips a little bit and is a purple color. I am so paranoid. What should I do?
Signed: Paranoid About Sex And My Body
Dear Paranoid About Sex And My Body,
There are a lot of factors that influence our views and decisions about sex. It's normal to be anxious and excited to try sex for the first time. It's important to understand however, that you should be comfortable with your body and with sharing not only it, but your deepest emotions with another person.
Sex is a very important decision that should not be taken lightly. TeenHealthFX is glad to see that you are putting in a great deal of thought into your decision. It is a mature and intimate step in any relationship and one that deserves careful thought and consideration. When you choose to have sex you and your partner should be in tune with one another and know what feels good for both of you.
In your question, you speak about your older cousin and friend that tell you that "sex is wonderful and that you will enjoy it your first time". TeenHealthFX senses that you may feel a little pressure to have sex. FX wants to again say that sex is a big decision and you should only have sex when you and your partner feel absolutely ready and have discussed it completely.
You also mention that you have concerns about your vaginal area. The lips of the vagina, labia majora and labia minora, often vary in size and color for each person. However, TeenHealthFX cannot diagnose you over the Internet and urges you to see your doctor or gynecologist (a doctor who specializes in the female reproductive system).
Since you are thinking about becoming sexually active, TeenHealthFX would recommend going to a doctor or teen health clinic anyway. A doctor at a teen health clinic can discuss various birth control options and answer any questions you may have. A teen health center can see you confidentially without your parent's consent and on a low/no cost basis. If you live in northern
When you do become sexually active, FX wants and hopes that you practice safer sex. This not only means taking precautions against pregnancy but sexually transmitted diseases as well. For more information check out these questions: What Will Sex Be Like for the First Time, Sex! What Should I Do? , First Time, Does it Hurt?.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Most smokers begin smoking as teens, and the average age of initiation is 12.5 years of age.
