Sexual Readiness? / Question
Published: November 5, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I'm a 13 YO girl and my boyfriend is 16. We have been going out for almost a month now and were into holding hands and kissing stuff but I want to do more than that with him, but not to the point of sex. I think he thinks I'm not ready for any of it, How do I tell him that I'm ready to fool around more but not have sex?
Signed: Want to Do More But Not Sex
Dear Want to Do More But Not Sex,
A relationship is about being comfortable with yourself and another person emotionally, as well as physically. It is important to move slowly and gain trust in any relationship. Often one partner may be on a different level then the other. When one person expects something different, feelings may be hurt. It is important that you talk to your boyfriend and be open with your feelings. If you increase your sexual activity towards him he may misinterpret your intentions. However, remember that you have equal control in the relationship and can stop any activity you don't want to happen.
As the two of you gain more experience in your relationship and with each other you will come to understand each other intimately. More time with each other may bring you closer to each other. Moving on sexually is a very important decision that should not be taken lightly. TeenHealthFX is glad to see that you are putting in a great deal of thought into your decision. It is a mature and intimate step in any relationship and one that deserves careful thought and consideration. It is very important to discuss with your partner each step that you take sexually before it happens. This will allow both of you to communicate what feels good and it will also enhance your relationship. When you choose to have sex you and your partner should be in tune with one another and know what feels good for both of you.
When you are ready to advance your relationship remember to always practice safer sex. Although you may feel ready to take your relationship to the next step, your boyfriend may not be. Keep an open relationship and talk to him about it!
Since you are thinking about doing more sexually with your boyfriend, TeenHealthFX would recommend going to a doctor or teen health clinic anyway. A doctor at a teen health clinic can discuss various birth control options and answer any questions you may have. A teen health center can see you confidentially without your parent's consent and on a low/no cost basis. If you live in northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Girls are more likely to intentionally abuse prescription drugs than boys.
