Sex Definitions / Question
Published: June 3, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Am I a nymphomaniac? I am a 17-year-old female and I love all kinds and types of sex. I enjoy sex with men and women. I use protection with men of course but never with women because I did not know there was any! I just try to pick my ladies very carefully. Anyway, I masturbate and watch porn every chance I get and have sex any chance I get. I find myself being late for appointments etc. and neglecting certain responsibilities because I am either doing something sexual or trying to find something sexual to get into. Help, I am afraid that I will go to hell.
Signed: Nympho?
Dear Nympho?,
There is nothing wrong with having a strong libido, especially at your age. Sexual desire is healthy as long as it does not interfere with the rest of your life. However, it sounds like you are concerned that this is happening to you. If you are neglecting responsibilities so you can seek out sex, then your need for it may be stronger than it should be in order to live a healthy, balanced life.
You might want to try speaking to a counselor or your physician about this. There may be someone at your school you can speak to. Or, in northern New Jersey, you can call the Access Center at Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888.2471400 for help in finding a therapist. Outside of this area, you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's website to locate services in your area. There are also support groups which focus on this issue based on the 12-step program used by Alcohol Anonymous. You can locate these groups by going to the Sexaholics Anonymous website.
In the meanwhile, we are glad you are having safer sex with men, but as you suggested, it is important to take precautions with women as well. When performing oral sex on a woman, you can use a dental dam - a square of latex or polyurethane that acts as a barrier between the vulva and the mouth. You can find dental dams in some sex stores and health centers, or you can cut an ordinary condom down the side to make one.
TeenHealthFX wants to emphasize that none of the behaviors you mentioned - having sex with members of both sexes, masturbating, watching pornography - are unhealthy in and of themselves, unless they begin to interfere with the rest of your life. We hope you can get the help you need so you can continue to be comfortable expressing yourself sexually and your sexuality can be a source of pleasure and not concern.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Statistics show that giving a teen a credit card does not teach them to be financially responsible or to encourage self-restraint, but actually promotes a “spend now and deal with the consequences later” mindset.
