Penis & Testicle Concerns / Question
Published: December 17, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am a 17 year old male. I am afraid to meet girls because I fear they may become attracted to me and this could lead to sex. My penis is 6 inches erect from the pubic bone and six inches in circumference. I don't want girls to think I am pathetic and laugh at me. How should I address this fear? I have tried reasoning with myself and that it is a part of myself and that I have no direct influence over it and should just accept how it is, but I still feel too inhibited to have sex. I want to have sex with others, I know how good an orgasm feels, but the only time I have felt great about myself is when I am on drugs and I have lost most of my interest in them. I fear that this phobia of rejection over my penis or my body will last forever. Where should I go for help? I feel locked up when I think about talking to my therapist about it.
Signed: Fear Of Penis Rejection
Dear Fear Of Penis Rejection,
TeenHealthFX hears how upset you are and is concerned about you. It must be very difficult for you to deal with a constant fear of rejection.
It is important to understand that before you can get others to like you it is important to like yourself. You are correct in that the size of your penis is a part of you that you can not change and that you need to find a way to accept it. But is important to remember too that girlfriends, meaningful ones anyway, are with you because of the kind of person you are, not the way you look. And certainly a positive sexual encounter is not determined by the size of your penis but rather a healthy, strong connection between the two people involved that is based on mutual trust and affection.
Having that said, as much as it hurts, rejection is part of dating. Not every girl will be interested, and that is okay! Think of it this way - you are not interested in every girl, right? If rejection is done in a kind, mature manner it is not disrespectful, just honest.
TeenHealthFX is glad to hear that you want to get help. A mental health professional can talk to you, recommend what kind of treatment that will be best for you and hopefully help you to start to feel better. As you may know from reading our other questions on depression, there is definitely a way to help you to feel better. If you continue to work at it and have the support, you will eventually develop the confidence in yourself that will help you deal with relationships in a way that you are comfortable with.
If you are at all thinking about committing suicide and can not get a handle on your feelings, get help immediately. If you live in Northern New Jersey, please call Atlantic Behavioral Health's, 24-Hour Crisis Hotline at (973) 540.0100. If you live outside of New Jersey, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1(800) SUICIDE.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
A comprehensive review of pediatric trials conducted between 1988 and 2006 suggests that the benefits of antidepressant medications likely outweigh their risks to children and adolescents with major depressive and anxiety disorders.
