TeenHealthFX - Answers - Period Not Regular, But Afraid Parents Will Judge Me If I Go To The Doctor

Females: Your Period / Question
Published: February 25, 2009

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I'm 16, and have had my period since I was thirteen. My period has never been regular, but it was more regular when I first began having it. Every year though, my period comes later and later and now a lot of the time I don't have more than 2-3 in an entire year! That can't be normal, I've had my period long enough that it should have become regular, right? I've never had sex with a guy before so I know for sure I'm not pregnant and it's not an STD. No birth control either. I'm really scared that I might be infertile because of this, but I'm also terrified of seeing a doctor because my parents would have to go and I don't want them to judge me.

Signed: Period Not Regular, But Afraid Parents Will Judge Me If I Go To The Doctor

Dear Period Not Regular, But Afraid Parents Will Judge Me If I Go To The Doctor,

TeenHealthFX agrees that it would be a good idea for you to meet with a medical health professional to discuss your irregular periods. Having had your period for three years now, it should be fairly well regulated. The fact that it isn’t can be due to such things as over-exercising, low weight, poor diet, high stress levels, and more. Not having a regular period does not necessarily mean that you are infertile – so try not to stress about that too much. But do see your doctor as soon as possible so that you can find out exactly what is causing the irregularity and what you need to do to correct it.

As for being concerned that your parents might judge you for having to see a doctor about this, FX wonders if it would be a good idea for you to talk to them about your concerns. Let them know that your period has been irregular, that you think you should see a doctor about it, but that you are worried they would be upset or critical about the situation. That way your parents can let you know whether or not they are feeling upset or critical about this. If they aren’t, then that can ease your fears that this will be an issue for them. If they say they are feeling upset with you, then FX thinks it is important to let them know that medical issues like this are often out of a person’s control. And the smart and responsible thing to do is to seek medical help. So rather than being upset with you, they should be proud of you for recognizing that there was a problem and doing the reasonable, responsible thing by asking to meet with your doctor.

You only have one body – so make sure you take care of it. Do not let other people’s feelings get in the way of being responsible to your physical health needs. And if you find that this is an ongoing problem with your parents – concern, in general, about them judging you – talk to them about it or consider meeting with a family therapist who can help all of you to work this issue out.

If you don't have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973-971-6475 for an appointment. You can also contact your local teen health center or Planned Parenthood, or call your insurance company for a list of in-network providers.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

Signed: TeenHealthFX