Females: Your Period / Question
Published: May 24, 2005
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am a 12-year-old girl. I have a 16-year old cousin who I share every thing with. I was telling her how I got my period and have no idea where it comes out of. She told me I should know so I can wear a tampon because they are so much better than a pad. I told her I wouldn't be able to because I have no clue where to put it. She said she would show me. I pulled down my pants and she got a mirror. She told me to pull open my lips down there so I did. She was pointing out all of the things down there in the mirror and telling me what they were called. She showed me where the vagina was so I was very greatful. Then she got a tampon and pulled down her own pants. She showed me how the tampon goes right in the vagina by doing it to herself. Then she got another one for me to try. She helped me to get it in and I thanked her. I am so happy I can use a tampon now. Was there anything wrong with this? It wasn't sexual at all. She was just helping me out.
Signed: Was She Just Helping Me Out
Dear Was She Just Helping Me Out,
TeenHealthFX thinks, from how you describe what happened, that your cousin was just trying to help you. It sounds like you were not prepared for your period and did not understand how your body worked. The fact that you say it was not sexual also sounds like you she was trying to help you figure out how things worked.
You do not mention whether or not your cousin asked you if it was okay with you to demonstrate the way she did. Hopefully she was clear about what she was doing and why and had your permission. If she forced you in anyway, that would be wrong. No one should touch you without your permission.
TeenHealthFX also thinks that although your cousin helped you out, there are other instructional methods for tampon use that are more comfortable and less physical. For instance, she could have talked you through the process. She could also have reviewed a book with you that went over how your body works and how to use tampons.
Think about what happened and ask yourself how you feel about your cousin helping you in this manner. She may be someone who is more comfortable with her body than other people. If you feel what happened was wrong or if you are uncomfortable, then let her know. Your cousin should respect your feelings on this issue. If you feel that this activity was wrong you may want to bring to tell your parents what has happened and let them help you deal with it.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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