Sexuality & Sexual Health: Miscellaneous / Question
Published: May 13, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
My father recently shared a personal moment with me, but was it inappropriate? He asked me about the size of my penis, and if I would like to watch pornography with him. He is a great dad and I don't believe he would do anything incestual with me, however I'm definately creeped out. Was his behaviors completely inappropriate or was the intentions misconstruin?
Signed: Dad Asked About Size Of Penis
Dear Dad Asked About Size Of Penis,
It is not necessary for you to interpret your dad's intentions. The fact is that he made you feel "creeped out" by his sexual questioning. It is extremely important that you communicate to your father how uncomfortable he made you feel by his line of questioning. Even if your dad maintains his intentions were harmless he is duty-bound to respect your wishes regarding your sexual boundaries.
It sounds like you have a good relationship with your father. If there is a chance that this situation will have a negative lasting effect on that relationship you may want to consider going to see a therapist with your dad and mom. The sessions would help with the various communication issues that arise during adolescences and help establish the boundaries that will make you feel comfortable in the relationship that you have with your parents.
If for some reason your dad does not respect your wishes or dismisses them outright, then it would be in your best interest to talk to your mother or an adult you trust about the situation. The most important thing here is that you feel safe in your own home.
If you would like to learn more about the subject in incest you can contact Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAIN) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), 24 hours, 7days a week.
In northern New Jersey you can get help finding a therapist by contacting the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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