TeenHealthFX - Answers - Feeling Badly About My Weight

Underweight/Overweight: Affecting Your Mind And body / Question
Published: May 30, 2006

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I feel so bad about myself. I am extremley overweight (about 6'3" and 290lbs) and because I'm overweight my penis is small too (about 4.5 in.). I have a girlfriend that I love very much. We are not sexually active and we have never even done anything sexually for a matter of fact. I want to have sex with her but am afraid that she will hate my body and laugh at my penis size. She is one thing that really makes me happy in life. I think that she loves me for me but I'm afraid that getting sexually active could change this. I don't know what I'd do without her in my life because I love her so much. Please help me figure out how to lose weight fast so that I can feel more comfortable about sex and never lose the love of my life.

Signed: Feeling Badly About My Weight

Dear Feeling Badly About My Weight,

Unfortunately, TeenHealthFX does not have any suggestions for rapid weight loss as losing weight too quickly can be a dangerous and unhealthy thing. However, FX does have some other thoughts and suggestions that we hope you will find helpful:

If you are interested in losing weight, FX suggests that you meet with your physician and a nutritionist to develop a health weight loss plan for yourself. You will most likely need to modify your eating and exercise habits, and a medical professional can be most helpful in educating you on what you need to do and in outlining a plan that is right for.
Since it sounds like you and your girlfriend care about each other very much, and if you are feeling like the two of you are mature enough and responsible enough to take the step of having sex with one another for the fist time, then FX hopes that you two are also mature and responsible enough to talk about any concerns you may be having about sex prior to being physically intimate with one another. FX recommends that you talk about your concerns with your girlfriend so that your worries can be put out there and addressed in a helpful way, which may help to take some of the pressure and worry off of you if you do decide to have sex with one another.
Since you say that you think your girlfriend loves you for you, trust your feeling about that and know that if she loves you for you, she loves all of the wonderful qualities about you. If she decides to have sex with you it will hopefully be because she loves you and wants to share a special and intimate experience with you – not because she has expectations about your physique and the size of your penis.
FX hopes that you will try and remind yourself of the wonderful qualities about yourself. If there are a few aspects of yourself you are not thrilled with, then that makes you like every other person in this world. Everyone has shortcomings and limitations – the trick is to accept them as part of what makes us unique and not to let them take away from acknowledging and valuing our strengths.

As always, if you and your girlfriend do decide to have sex, please do so safely and responsibly.

If you don't have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973-971-6475 for an appointment or contact your local teen health center or Planned Parenthood.

Signed: TeenHealthFX