TeenHealthFX - Answers - One Friend Is Underweight, Another Friend Is Overweight

Underweight/Overweight: Affecting Your Mind And body / Question
Published: November 2, 2009

Dear TeenHealthFX,

Help! One of my friends is underweight and the other is over weight. The underweight one is about 5' 4" and weighs 90 ilbs and she may have an eating disorder. It hurts her stomach or makes her sick if she eats too much (too much is barely any at all) but she is still hungry. Her stomach forces her to stop eating. Her ribs slightly poke out and there's about an inch of fat on her stomach. That's it!!! She's also really into working out and getting strong and being skinny. The other friend is around 5' 4-5" and last last time I heard she was 150 ilbs which was a few months ago! I'm really worried! She's 13 and the underweight one is 12. I don't know how to help them or if I should. I want to help in any way that I can though. P.S. the over weight one HAS heard of BMI before.

Signed: One Friend Is Underweight, Another Friend Is Overweight

Dear One Friend Is Underweight, Another Friend Is Overweight,

There are definitely potential risks that overweight and underweight teens may face, so FX can appreciate why you would be worried about each of your friends. Childhood obesity is on the rise, and eating disorders continue to be a significant problem among young people – and both can have tremendous negative impacts on emotional and physical health.

FX suggests that you start by gathering some information for your friends. You could calculate both of their BMIs for them and give them that information, recommending that each of them meet with her own primary care physician to discuss their current weights. There are many reasons people could be overweight or underweight – medical issues, mental health illnesses, and lifestyle factors. It is important for each of them to meet with a doctor to determine why they are not at health weights and what needs to be done in order for each of them to each a healthy weight.

In addition, to meeting with a doctor, if your friend who is underweight has an eating disorder, it would be advised for her to meet with a mental health professional. It is also possible that your friend who is overweight is dealing with something like depression, excessive stress, or other emotional issues contributing to overeating or minimal physical activity that contributes to the weight gain – if that is the case it would be helpful for her to meet with a therapist as well.

For your friend who has an eating disorder, you could give her the following information:

· If you don't have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973-971-6475 for an appointment or contact your local teen health center. You can also contact your insurance company for a list of in-network providers.

· If you live in New Jersey, you can contact the Eating Disorders Program at Atlantic Health at 908-522-5757 for more information and to set up an evaluation. Outside of New Jersey you can contact the National Eating Disorders Association at 1-800-931-2237 for more information and referral services.

· You can also contact the National Eating Disorders Association at 1-800-931-2237 for more information and referral services.

· If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

· Question/Answer Underweight Or A Disease?

For your friend who is overweight, you could give her the following information:

· www.TeenFitfx.com

· Question/Answer: 130 Pounds At 5’2. While this isn’t the exact height and weight of your friend, she can still get applicable information on ways to lose weight, as well as encouragement to meet with a medical health provider.

Talk to each of them separately and privately, provide them with some education, and let them know about your concern. Encourage them to seek out help and let them know that you are happy to be there for them to support them in whatever way you can. For example, you might want to ask your friend who is overweight if she would like the two of you to exercise together a few times a week. You might ask your friend who is underweight if she would like you to go with her to speak to a counselor or her doctor.

If your friends refuse to seek out any help, you could speak to a school counselor, your school, nurse, or even the parent(s)/guardian(s) of your friends (depending on your relationships with them) to tell them about your concerns. If you are unable to have any kind of impact on them by talking to your friends directly, perhaps an adult at home or school would be able to have more of one.

No matter what you say to your friends, be sure to emphasize that the reason you are bringing this up is that there are negative physical and mental health consequences of being overweight and underweight – and because you care about them so much you just want to see them as healthy and happy as they can be. It’s important for your friends to feel like your concerns are coming from a loving place, not a critical one.

Signed: TeenHealthFX