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Best Friend Raped Me And It's Messing With My Head

Published: June 29, 2016
Dear TeenHealthFX,
So about two months ago my bestfriend raped me, ive dealt with sexual assault before in my younger years but this really messed with my head. Hes in jail currently but im always reminded of him since we have an ongoing investigation, even though hes locked up i feel like i see and hear him everywhere, i also have a serious drug and alcohol addiction. Im only 17 years old but ive had these addictions for a long time, while i was in Butler hospital they told me sometimes with adolescent drug abuse it can bring out psychosis. Ive been reading up on PTSD and Schizophrenia and im very concerned. I cant even hear my own thoughts any more and when i do they arent very good, my therapist says to talk to my psychiatrist about it but i dont want to be all drugged up anymore, or even worse locked away in a hospital. Whats going on with me...?
Signed: Best Friend Raped Me And It's Messing With My Head

Dear Best Friend Raped Me And It's Messing With My Head,

TeenHealthFX would like to start by saying that we are truly sorry that you are going through such a difficult time right now and that you were raped by your best friend. The pain, anger and fear you must be feeling is understandable. So we are glad that you are meeting with a therapist and reaching out to us for help with these struggles so that you are not going through this all alone.

As for your questions and concerns, FX invites you to look at what happened to you from an attachment perspective. Our parents, best friends, significant others – these are all people who can be like lifelines for us. Meaning that they are (hopefully) the people we can depend on and feel safe with. So FX would like you to think about how it impacted you to have your “best friend” do something to you so terrible, violent and violating in terms of how it left you feeling about him (and possibly about people in general) in terms of being able to feel there are people out there with whom you can feel safe and who you can rely on. This kind of significant attachment injury can “mess with a person’s head” in terms of how scared and alone they can start to feel. New research on addition is suggesting a connection between addiction and attachment issues. So issues around attachment may be the key thing you need to be focusing on right now between the rape and addiction history.

Since you are having concerns about your therapist’s recommendation to meet with a psychiatrist, FX recommends you start by talking to your therapist about what those concerns are. To say that you don’t want to be “drugged up” or “locked away in a hospital” suggests to FX that you are feeling very scared about this idea And it would be helpful for you and your therapist to better understand what specifically you are fearful of around this so you can decide together the best way to proceed.

FX also thinks it would be helpful for you and your therapist to deal with these issues of attachment, both in terms of the attachment injury that occurred when your best friend raped you, as well as how you have felt in other relationships (or with people in general) in terms of feeling you have people you can trust, depend on, and feel safe with.

For more information and support, FX also recommends you check out RAINN.

Signed: TeenHealthFX