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I Feel Down A Lot

Published: May 01, 2014
Dear TeenHealthFX,

Sometimes I feel down a lot. I feel useless and I cry more than ever. It's like a sponge feeling; I'm vibrant and happy on the outside. I soak everything in, at the end of the day I cry it all out. I feel guilty about stuff I did a long time ago. My friends are always asking me what's wrong.

I’m not that much of an optimist. I NEVER see the bright side of things. If I fail in school, I feel worthless and I always say I’m never going to make it in the future.

Yes, I do have suicide thoughts, thinking that if I was dead, I wouldn't have to go through everything I’m going through. I feel like my parents don’t like me they're judging me. I’m always tired and I cry more than ever.

 I used to have Panic attacks awhile back, but now I just have chills (Goosebumps), or anxiety. I always hide my emotions. I think if I were dead, it would be better because it would be peaceful, I don't have to worry about anything anymore. This is an off and on feeling. But I’m getting it more often, I feel like it's getting worse. What do you think is wrong? Bipolar, depression etc.

 

Signed: Sometimes I Feel Down A Lot

Dear Sometimes I Feel Down A Lot,

Making a diagnosis over the web in this case would be guess work at best. The one thing that is clear and you mention it in your letter is “I always hide my emotions”, which is an ineffective way of dealing with life. Your analogy of the sponge works quite well. Like a sponge we can only hold so much emotions until we get to the saturation point and they come flowing out in a variety of forms,  sometimes in ways that can be harmful. Isolating yourself from other people can leave you feeling lonely, helpless, depressed, worthless and destroys your self esteem. Things can get so bad that the sometimes the only way out a person can see is ending their life. This is why it is so important that you seek help immediately. There are many options that you haven’t tried and many people out there who would be more than willing to help you. Your relationship with your parents may seemed strained right now but your mother and father and all the people in your life who love you would be devastated if anything were to happen to you. It would leave a void that could never be filled. 

Many of the feelings that you have described are consistent with clinical depression but you won’t know for sure until you have been evaluated by a mental health professional. Once the evaluation is complete you will have a better idea of what is going on with you and a course of treatment can be planned. Depression is a treatable condition and if this is the case there are many treatment options available to you. Even if your problem is not depression, any other diagnosis will come with treatment options designed to ease your pain.

 

As hard as it might be for you, you need to share with your parents or some responsible adult what is going on with you. There is no question that you need help, it just has to be determined what type of intervention is needed. If you have a hard time putting into words how you have been feeling, just show someone the letter that you have written to us. Please don’t suffer in silence that will only leave you in the dark place where you are now. 

 

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week

 

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.

 

 

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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