For your mother to go between such extreme emotions of acting like your best friend and then threatening to kill herself and saying cruel things to you suggests that she is dealing with some kind of untreated mental health issue. Mood disorders, such as bipolar disorder, and substance abuse issues are just two of a few possibilities of what could be at play here. However, no matter what the specific issue is here it seems as if two things are clear: she is not getting the help she needs and you do not have the help and support that you need to deal with what is going on.
TeenHealthFX suggests that you start by discussing your concerns with your father. It would be helpful for him to encourage your mother to schedule a consultation with herself with a reputable mental health professional, such as a clinical social worker, clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. It would be most effective for your father to raise this with your mother at a time where she seems more peaceful and calm and would most likely be more receptive to what he has to say.
In addition to your mother being evaluated, it would also be helpful for you to meet with a reputable therapist as well for some combination of individual and family therapy. It is important that these family dynamics get addressed, and it is also important that you have someone you can talk to so that you get the guidance and support you need to deal with whatever is going on with your mother.
If your father is not receptive to encouraging your mother to get help and/or does not get help for you, then it would be important to talk to a trusted adult about this so that someone can intervene on your behalf (as well as on behalf of your mother). You could speak to your family doctor, a school nurse or school counselor, or anyone else who could intervene on your behalf. If a doctor or school staff member is unable to convince your parents to address these issues, that person can decide at that time if it would be best to involve your state child protective services.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.
FX would also like to add that if you are ever concerned for your immediate safety if she is in a place of threatening to harm herself you can call 9-1-1.
15-24 year olds account for half of all new STD infections. 1
HPV is the most common sexually transmitted infection. 2
"Transgender" is a term that includes the many ways that people's gener identities can be different from the sex they were assigned at birth. 3
Usually, puberty starts between ages 8 and 13 in girls and ages 9 and 15 in boys. 4
About 6-9% of children and adolescents have ADHD. 5
Tobacco smoking can lead to lung cancer, chronic bronchitis and emphysema. 6
Anorexia has the highest death rate of any mental disorder. 7
Studies show that people who eat breakfast do better in school, tend to eat less throughout the day, and are less likely to be overweight. 8
Young drivers (ages 16-20) are 17 times more likely to die in a crash when they have a blood alcohol concentration of .08% than when they have not been drinking. 9
Dating violence can take place in person or electronically, such as repeated texting or posting sexual pictures of a partner online. 10
Dehydration- not having enough fluids in your body- can cause headache, fatigue, crankiness and poor concentration. 11
National guidelines recommend that young people spend no more than two hours each day using electronic media for recreation. 12
A panic attack is a surge of intense fear and discomfort that usually peaks within ten minutes, but can last as long as several hours. 13
Suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15-24 year olds. 14
42.2% of female rape victims were first raped before age 18. 15
Pregnancy and birth are significant contributions to high school dropout rates among girls. 16
Females aged 15-19 continue to have higher rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea than any other age or sex group. 17
E-cigarettes are the most commonly used form of tobacco among youth in the United States. 18
More teens die from prescription drugs than heroin/cocaine combined. 19
Teens who consistently learn about the risks of drugs from their parents are up to 50% less likely to use drugs than those who don't. 20
20% of youth ages 13-18 live with a mental health condition. 21
Bipolar disorder is defined as a "brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks." 22
An obese child or teenager is one who weighs at least 20% more than their ideal body weight. 23
3 in 10 teen American girls will get pregnant at least once before age 20. 24
About 208,000 young people under 20 years of age have diagnosed diabetes. 25
Reversible methods of birth control include: intrauterine contraception, hormonal methods, barrier methods and fertility awareness-based methods. 26
Each day, nearly 3,000 kids under the age of 18 try their first cigarette and another 700 become regular, daily smokers. 27
Approximately 85% of people between the ages of 12 and 24 experience at least minor acne. 28
Most tobacco smokers begin smoking during adolescence. 29
90% of teens who are LGBT come out to their close friends. 30