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Very Worried Girlfriend

Published: September 28, 2015
Dear TeenHealthFX,

FX, my boyfriend (of 2 years) has a very very very messed up family situation and can not see a therapist because his family wont let him. His mother is bipolar, is a kleptomaniac and could be clinically diagnosed as a psychopath and a sociopath. She has been married 6 times. She is crazy. She yells at him and cusses at him and says things my parents would never even think about saying anywhere i could hear them. His "dad" adopted (her 4th husband) adopted my boyfriend when he was around 7. His real dad "left" his mother before he was born and he has never met him. My boyfriend currently lives with his grandmother because that is who supports him financially, but she holds it over his head. He is going to college next year and has dreams of going somewhere he loves. She does not like this school and tells him he will go where she wants him to because she is paying for it. That is just one example of her manipulativness. He has wanted to go see a therapist but in our state he is 1 year shy of the legal age. How can he go see a therapist if they do not consent? He tried getting emancipated but when they found out it was a bad situation for everyone. Please, we need your advice. I worry about him everyday. I dont know how he isnt crazy like they are and i want whats best for him. Sincerly, very worried girlfriend

Dear Very Worried Girlfriend,


It does sound like your boyfriend’s living situation is unhealthy and very stressful. However there is no reason he should give up hope. His grandmother wanting to control where he goes to school must make him feel like she is taking his future away from him. While it is hard to see her logic, it is important to keep in mind that the opportunity to go to college is still there. It may not be fair, but it is something that allows him to keep his dream alive by getting a college degree. An education is a key that opens many doors and allows others to shut tightly. The situation is difficult, but there is still hope there. 


It seems clear that trying to convince someone in his family that your boyfriend could use help dealing with his chaotic environment has met with a lot of road blocks. TeenHealthFX is not familiar with the laws of your state but a counselor at school would be. It would be a good idea for your boyfriend to make an appointment with the school counselor and see what options are available to him and that are confidential. It also gives the school counselor an opportunity to assess the situation and determine whether he should be seen by an outside mental health professional. If a medical professional indicates that your boyfriend is suffering from significant mental distress then the school could make a recommendation for an evaluation or counseling. One therapy is determined as being medically necessary, then his guardian would have to follow through with initiating therapy. If they didn’t then she/he could be charged with neglect of a child.  




Signed: TeenHealthFX