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Wish I Had An Older Brother Who Would Protect Me

Published: March 31, 2015
Dear TeenHealthFX,

I am the oldest kid in my family. I have just turned 18 years old and I have a little brother who is 14 years old. Recently, I have been wishing that I had and older brother whom I could share secrets with. You know, the kinds of things you don't want your parents to find out about. I also wish I had and older brother who would "protect" me. In other words he would look out for me and warn me when I was about to do something I would get into trouble for. He would also keep an eye on me and like you see in all the movies he would check up on how things are going with me and we would be best friends. Is this normal at my age?

Signed: Wish I Had An Older Brother Who Would Protect Me

Dear Wish I Had An Older Brother Who Would Protect Me,

Who wouldn’t at 18 like to have an older brother who would do all of those things for us? Some people are very lucky and have someone in their lives like that but it doesn’t mean that is the only place you can find that kind of support. You would be surprised how much parents, friends, teachers, mentors and coaches have a positive influence in someone’s life. Often times it is hard to recognize this support until you get older and are looking back.

TeenHealthFX has to wonder why you are asking this question. Our concern is that you might be feeling overwhelmed, worried about your future, or making some choices that you are not comfortable with. It may even be that you are doing a lot of things for your brother and just wish you had someone doing the same for you.

Something important to remember is that no one does it alone. At 18 you are at a big juncture in your life. There are a lot of decisions to make and it is not always clear which is the right one. You may be a senior in high school or just graduating and are uncertain about your future. Whatever doubts or fears you are having it is a safe bet that other people have had the same experiences and would be glad to share them with you. Even TeenHealthFX can be a great resource. All of our questions that are posted to the site have been generated by young people many the same ages as you. Sometimes looking at the questions it makes you realize that you are not alone and that others have the same fears and worries and that there are solutions.

Is there a trustworthy friend who could serve as a confidant for you? Although you can’t tell your parents everything you may be surprised how much they are really there for you. Even relatives, neighbors or a spiritual adviser would be able to guide you. Therapy can also be an option. It would provide you with the guidance and confidentiality that you seek but it wouldn’t provide the friendship that you are looking for.

TeenHealthFX is not sure if this answers your question completely. If there is something more specific you would like to know please write in and let us know.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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