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Why Does My Boyfriend Have Trouble Ejaculating?

Published: December 20, 2016
Dear TeenHealthFX,
My boyfriend is 23 years old, masturbates only once a month (if that) but has no trouble becoming aroused and less trouble maintaining and erection. The problem is, he can only ejaculate through intercourse about once a week. He is not on any kind of medication and says he has always had this problem. I am just hoping to find some possible answers we could look into to help him. I feel terribly that i come every time with no problems but that he has so much trouble.
Signed: Why Does My Boyfriend Have Trouble Ejaculating?

Dear Why Does My Boyfriend Have Trouble Ejaculating?,

Sexual problems can be a result of physical or psychological causes. Physical causes can include various medical conditions, alcoholism, drug abuse, or side effects from certain medications. Psychological causes could include stress, anxiety, concern about sexual performance, relationship problems (such as a distant or strained connection between partners), feelings of guilt, fear of pregnancy, or effects of past sexual trauma.  

Without knowing more about your boyfriend, TeenHealthFX cannot know the exact cause of the ejaculation issues he is experiencing. However, you can speak with your boyfriend to find out if there are any stressors, anxieties or perhaps any concerns about the relationship that are impacting him. The two of you could also take the focus off of achieving orgasm and just enjoy what is there for right now. If the two of you are very focused on his ejaculating every time you are physically intimate, this may cause even more stress and pressure which could worsen the problem. If the problem persists, the best thing would be for your boyfriend to speak to a medical health professional about it. A medical professional can determine whether there are any underlying medical issues which need to be addressed.

If a doctor rules out any medical conditions and it appears to be psychological, your boyfriend could meet with a mental health professional (either with you or without you depending on the issue). If there is any sexual abuse history, it would be important to address that in therapy. If there are issues around intimacy and being close to someone, a therapist could be helpful with that as well.

If you don't have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973-971-5199 for an appointment with an adolescent medicine specialist or contact your local teen health center or Planned Parenthood. You can also contact your insurance company for a list of in-network providers.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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