Bookmark and Share

I Can't Orgasm

Published: April 30, 2015
Dear TeenHealthFX,

I'm a 16 year old girl and I can't orgasm. The only way that I can orgasm is by humping a rolled up blanket or pillow and I can do it while being fully clothed. I've tried to use my fingers to masturbate but it never works. I can't seem to find my clit and it just never feels as good. The only thing that works is humping. I'm a virgin and scared that I might not be able to orgasm when I start to have sex. I really don't know what to do. It's been like this for years and I need to know if something is wrong with me.


Dear I Can't Orgasm,

It seems reasonable to say that you are capable of having an orgasm, but only under certain conditions. This is an important distinction because, although it may be frustrating, you having been able to have an orgasm in the past under the conditions you described. This would indicate that the biological mechanisms involved are intact.

 

It is not uncommon for a person to become habituated to orgasm only under certain conditions. This usually involves the stimulus being used, but can also reflect the method as well. Anxiety can also be a huge factor. Your statement, “I'm a virgin and scared that I might not be able to orgasm when I start to have sex. I really don't know what to do. It's been like this for years and I need to know if something is wrong with me,” reflects a fair amount of worry. This can lead to added pressure when trying another method besides “humping” when trying to reach an orgasm. When trying a different technique, it becomes a test, rather than something pleasurable. It is similar to performance anxiety; the anticipation of failure makes the task that much harder.

 

If you read some of the questions from TeenHealthFX sections on Orgasm and Masturbation you’ll find that many young people have similar concerns. The sections will also give you tips and advice on how to deal with the situation.

 

You can also speak with your doctor about your concerns. Most adolescents don’t realize that doctors are great resources for questions on sexuality. They are trained and experienced in dealing with these issues because it is a huge part of the development process during the teen years.

 

Signed: TeenHealthFX

Ratings