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I Gave A Stranger Oral Sex

Published: May 14, 2012
Dear TeenHealthFX,
i gave a stranger oral sex. i told my therapist about this and she suggested i figure out why i did it. i think i did it for attention which is kind of sad. i mean, i know nothing about the person and i will probably never see them again. i feel like a whore the only thing missing was getting paid for it. p.s. i've never EVER given oral sex to anyone until this happened. i didn't even know how to do it until i was finished. it was like i blanked out and ta da! i even swallowed. i know that's gross but i'm just really puzzled by what just happened. the therapist opined that even if i think that was totally out of character that it must have been part of me otherwise i wouldn't have done it. what do you think?
Signed: I Gave A Stranger Oral Sex

Dear I Gave A Stranger Oral Sex,

 

Generally there are specific reasons behind the things we do and the decisions we make. It sounds to TeenHealthFX that you already have a good handle on why you gave this stranger oral sex – because you were looking for some kind of special attention. It is possible that you are not feeling close to and cared for by the people closest to you (such as your family and friends), so engaging in this sexual act was a way to feel close to someone for a moment. If you have not had people model for you how to be close to others in healthy ways, it is possible that there is some confusion for you about how to form healthy, loving connections with others. FX also wonders if there are any self-esteem issues that have come up for you in your therapy, as this can also play a part in this kind of behavior.

 

Whatever the reason is for your decision to give this person oral sex, FX thinks that it is very important for you to not be too hard on yourself and critical of what you did (such as when you used the word “whore” to describe yourself). The reason why you did what you did had nothing to do with your being a “whore,” a bad person, or someone without morals or values. It had to do with your dealing with certain emotional issues, and a temporary acting out on those emotional issues. So have some compassion for yourself and what you did. Rather than focusing on the negative, stay focused on the strengths you clearly have in being able to reach out for help with this by writing to us and being so honest and open with your therapist, as well as in having such wonderful insight. FX does hope that you will work on this issue so the behavior is not repeated in the future – only because we want you to protect your emotional and physical well-being (which could be compromised by being so physically intimate with a stranger). But we think that to get there it is important for you to focus on making healthy steps forward rather than beating yourself up for something that is over and done with.

 

Continue talking to your therapist about this “attention” issue and any other thoughts or feelings that you think might be related to this incident. And use your strengths and the support and guidance of your therapist to continue to move forward in a positive way.

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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