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Girlfriend Might Be Pregnant - But I'm Not Ready For A Family

Published: May 14, 2012
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Hi, I'm only 16, in 10th grade, i possibly got my girlfriend pregnant. her friends mother, who is also her gaurdian is taking her to get tested today. well, i know the whole thing about safe sex and if you could, id rather not read about it again but right now, i just have one question. I plan on staying with her. but i am in a band that just got signed a tour. i do drink sometimes and smoke alot. she knows of neither. and if shes pregnant, i think thatll just ruin my plans for life. and i dont know how to tell her, if i want her to have an abortion or keep it, or give it up for adoption. (IM NOT PLANNING ON LEAVING HER) and she also wants to move in with me if she is pregnant. but i am only 16... please, please help me....
Signed: Girlfriend Might Be Pregnant - But I'm Not Ready For A Family

Dear Girlfriend Might Be Pregnant - But I'm Not Ready For A Family,

 

If, after getting tested, your girlfriend discovers that she is pregnant, than TeenHealthFX suggests that the two of you sit down to talk about how you are feeling about the pregnancy, what your concerns are, what it means to you to think of being parents at this point in your lives, and how realistic it is that the two of you can raise a baby as 16 year olds. It is important that you both be honest with one another about how you are feeling, what your worries are, and what you feel needs to be done (as you said, keep the baby, have an abortion, or give the baby up for adoption).

If you feel that your girlfriend should give the baby up for adoption or have an abortion, FX thinks it is fine for you to voice your opinion and the reasons why you feel that way. However, we also think it is important for you to be compassionate and sympathetic about what those choices will mean to her since it is her body that will be affected. If you are advocating for either of these choices, FX thinks that it is important for you to also verbalize to your girlfriend how you will be there for her with what she will go through physically and emotionally. 

If you and your girlfriend are having trouble figuring this out on your own, consider using some of the resources below to get some guidance and support for yourselves. In addition, read My Boyfriend Wants A Baby, But I’m Not Ready. The answer to this question provides many of the questions that couples should go through when contemplating whether or not to have a baby so they can decide whether or not they are really in a place in their lives to commit to raising a child in a happy and healthy manner. FX thinks that it would be helpful for you and your girlfriend to go through this question list together and discuss the answers you come up with.

 If your girlfriend is not pregnant, or to think about for the future, have your girlfriend meet with a doctor to get on the pill or patch to protect against unwanted pregnancies and use a condom each and every time you have sex to protect against pregnancy and the transmission of STDs.

You can get more information on options and various resources through the American Pregnancy Association. Since this is an unplanned pregnancy, you and your girlfriend can call 1-800-672-2296 to find out about your options and to get some support and guidance for this situation. And if your girlfriend has no medical insurance, you can call 1-800-450-0183.

If you don't have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973-971-6475 for an appointment or contact your local teen health center or Planned Parenthood. You can also contact your insurance company for a list of in-network providers.

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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