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Identify Ourselves as Asexual or Aromantic

Published: May 14, 2012
Dear TeenHealthFX,

This has been bothering me for a while and I sent in numerous questions in the past regarding this issue, all of which have been ignored. In many of your sexuality-related responses, you mentioned that sexuality can be viewed along a continuum - from hetero to homosexuality. There are some of us who identify as asexual or aromantic. I am not sexually attracted to anyone of any gender, and I have no interest in relationships. I can't talk to anyone about this because they all either say it is a product of depression, because I haven't met "the one" yet, or because I'm still young and things will change. I was even in a class in school where the teacher was talking about appreciation of DIVERSITY and when somebody mentioned asexuality, she just laughed and said it didn't exist. It would be nice if one person admitted people like me actually have the feelings we have. As much as people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered are discriminated against, nobody even believes people like me exist. What I would like to ask you, though, is that since I don't date or have sex, how can I make myself fit in? I always feel left out when other people are with their boyfriends or girlfriends.

Signed: Identify Ourselves as Asexual or Aromantic

Dear Identify Ourselves as Asexual or Aromantic,

 

TeenHealthFX apologizes for you feeling ignored by us. When we stated “that sexuality can be viewed along a continuum - from hetero to homosexuality,” we were referring to relationships between two people. This was not because we don’t recognize that there are other forms of sexuality but basically because the reader’s questions were focused on relationships with other people.

 

An asexual person is someone who does not desire to have sex. Asexuality is considered a way of life and not a choice like celibacy. Asexuals do not experience sexual attraction and do not find sexual behavior appealing. An asexual would feel completely satisfied if they never experienced a sexual relationship. Some asexuals may have tried it and found it very unsatisfactory while others find the idea of participating in sexual activity totally unappealing. In January 2009 ABC News did an informative piece titled “Asexuals Push for Greater Recognition,explaining the phenomena and providing some insight to the difficulties asexuals experience.

According to the urban dictionary, an aromantic is one who lacks interest in or desire for romantic relationships. Aromantic is also a term used by used by asexuals to differentiate themselves from asexuals who are attracted to people in romantic, but not sexual ways.

If you are attending a social function where it seems that it is going to be mostly couples maybe you could ask one of your platonic friends to go along if it would make the situation more comfortable for you.  In the end the best way to feel accepted or fit in is to just be you. Sooner or later people will accept you as a person without regard to your sexual identity.

 

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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