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Does Being Fingered Mean You Lost Your Virginity?

Published: January 13, 2014
Dear Does Being Fingered Mean You Lost Your Virginity?,

I have been fingered by my lover , nearly two fingers , does it mean I have lost my virginity ?


Dear Does Being Fingered Mean You Lost Your Virginity?,

According to Planned Parenthood, most people define losing virginity as penile-vaginal intercourse. However, there are people who believe that you can lose your virginity through oral sex, anal sex, or other types of sexual behaviors.

Planned Parenthood explains the following about Who’s a virgin, and who’s not?

Most people would say that a virgin is someone who's never had sex — and by "sex," they often mean penetration of the vagina by the penis. This dictionary definition sounds simple enough, but it leaves a whole bunch of people out of the picture.

There are a lot of straight people who don’t think of themselves as virgins because they’ve had lots of other kinds of sex, like oral sex and anal sex. And then there are all the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people who may never have penile-vaginal sex, but who hardly think of themselves as virgins.

Many people define sex in broader terms. For some, "sex" means vaginal, oral, or anal sex, while for others, it could mean mutual masturbation, manual stimulation (“hand job”), dry humping, or using sex toys to penetrate the vagina or anus. Lots of people feel that they "lose it" the first time they share an intimate sexual experience with someone else — not simply the first time penetration happens.

Some also believe that people have to give consent to lose their virginity — that virgins who are raped, for example, do not lose their virginity.

You will have to come to your own conclusions about what you believe defines losing one’s virginity. Perhaps Planned Parenthood’s article on “What Is Virginity?” will help you to sort out your personal beliefs on the subject. You can also speak to your doctor or a parent if you are having trouble sorting out your feelings and beliefs on the subject.

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