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Should I Give In To My Boyfriend?

Published: August 06, 2012
Dear Should I Give In To My Boyfriend?,

Dear teenhealthfx, Im 13yo and i have a small issue with my boyfriend. We have been together for 11 months and i love himm alot and i know he loves me but recently he has been aski g me questions. He asks me when we can have sex for the first time. He asks how far can i go when im kissing you. He asks for naked pictures and im just not really comfortable with that but afterward i feel bad that i didnt do it. And thee one thing he wants most is head- he is constantly asking for it and it starts to annoy me. He always tells me "well out of all thee other guys who ask u the same questions, im the only one who really loves you babe" That makes me feel very guilty...Should i just give in and do what he wants?????


Dear Should I Give In To My Boyfriend?,

TeenHealthFX thinks that you have NO reason to feel guilty here – the only person who should be feeling guilty right now is your boyfriend for pressuring you into things you are not ready for and manipulating you to the point where you are actually considering his requests even though they are not what you want.

If your boyfriend really cared about you:

  • He would not ask you to give him any naked pictures of yourself. In a world where words and pictures can travel quickly through things like texting and emails, the last thing you need are naked pictures of yourself floating around out there.
  • He would not be pressuring you to have sex. Thirteen is very young age to be sexually active – FX would not recommend that anyone at this age have sex.
  • He would not pressure you to the point of annoying you.
  • He would listen to you and respect what you have to say when you tell him what you are not comfortable with.
  • He would not manipulate you by making you think his love is so special compared to what anyone else has to offer that you should give into what he wants. Shame on him!

FX thinks you should firmly and clearly tell your boyfriend to back off. Let him know you are not comfortable with sex, oral sex, or sending naked pictures of yourself and that if keeps pressuring you to do these things despite your being clear with him that you don’t want to, that you will take those behaviors to mean that he doesn’t love or respect you. If he threatens to break-up with you for not giving into him, then consider it his loss, understand that he is more selfish than caring, and let him end it – and then look for someone who is able to be loving and respectful to you.

If you have any further concerns about dealing with this situation, speak to a trusted adult for some guidance and support. And remember – you will most likely have other boyfriends in life, but you’ll have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. So be true to you and don’t compromise your beliefs and values for someone else’s selfish needs.

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