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Guy Asked Me To Have Sex, But I'm Not Ready - Should I Tell Him?

Published: November 12, 2012
Dear Guy Asked Me To Have Sex, But I'm Not Ready - Should I Tell Him?,

I have a guy who is more then friends and we have been going off and on and he asked me if i want to have sex but i don't know if im physicaly ready or emotionaly should i talk to him about it.


Dear Guy Asked Me To Have Sex, But I'm Not Ready - Should I Tell Him?,

If you are unsure if you are physically or emotionally ready for sex, then TeenHealthFX would say that you are definitely not ready. Sex is a big thing and not something to go into lightly – if any part of you doubts whether you are ready, listen to and respect that part of you – and wait to have sex until you are fully and truly ready.

As for how to handle it with this guy, FX definitely thinks you should let him know where you are at with this. It is important for you to clearly communicate your feelings about this so he is perfectly clear as to where you stand and will not continue to bother you over something you are not ready for. You could say something like, “I have given this a lot of thought and I’m just not ready to have sex right now in my life. If and when I feel ready to have sex, I will let you know. But for now, I’m definitely not ready and hope you can understand and respect that.”

This guy might be disappointed that you are not ready if he would like to have sex right now, but if he truly cares about you he will understand and respect where you are at. If he continues to pressure you or gives you a hard time in any way about it, it is important for you to set clear limits about where you are at. You could say something like, “I’m confused about why you are still bringing this up. I thought I made it clear I am not ready to have sex. If you value me and our relationship, you will not bring this up again.”

Dealing with these kinds of issues can be complicated and confusing. If you need some guidance and support, consider talking to a trusted adult, such as a parent or your doctor. For more information on how to know when you are ready for sex for the future, read Am I Ready for Sex? by Planned Parenthood and our response to Want To Have Sex, But Not Sure If I’m Ready.

For more information on saying no, read Planned Parenthood’s It’s Okay To Say No Way.

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