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Not Sure If I'm Ready For Sex

Published: January 07, 2013
Dear Not Sure If I'm Ready For Sex,
Hi, I'm a 17 year old girl and I'm still a virgin but I have had many many many thoughts of having sex. Me and my boyfriend have been talking about having sex for a while now, but I'm still not sure if I'm ready. I think about sex all the time and I always wounder what it would be and feel like. I've even started masturbating. And I really want to have sex but I'm not sure if I'm ready or not. What do you think I should do? Please help me!

Dear Not Sure If I'm Ready For Sex,

It is natural that at your age you would be thinking about sex and wondering what it would be like. The question is whether or not you are ready to act on your thoughts and feelings. Since you are saying you are “not sure” if you are ready, then TeenHealthFX would say that it would be a good idea to wait until you are 100% sure. Once you’ve had sex, it’s not something that can be undone – so best to be really, truly sure you are ready for it. Plus, there is a lot to think about when it comes to having sex – protecting yourself from unwanted pregnancies and the transmission of STDs, feeling like you can handle the emotional aspect of having sex, and thinking about who you want your first time to be with and how it might affect the relationship. It’s a lot to deal with, especially if there are any doubts about readiness.

To get some guidance on sexual readiness and some things to consider in deciding whether you fully ready, read Am I Ready for Sex?, Want To Have Sex, But Not Sure If I’m Ready, and Making Healthy Sexual Decisions: Are You Ready for Sex?. For tips on how to say “no,” read It’s Okay To Say No Way and this article on Abstinence.

When you get to the point where you do feel ready for sex, please make sure you educate yourself on how pregnancy happens, birth control options, protecting against STDs, and what to do if you think you might be pregnant. You can speak to your parents, doctor, or look at the links on our Resource of the Month, Planned Parenthood Resources on Safer Sex to get this information.

If you don't have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973-971-5199 for an appointment with an adolescent medicine specialist or contact your local teen health center or Planned Parenthood. You can also contact your insurance company for a list of in-network providers.

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