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Do You Think I Am Ready For Sex?

Published: July 31, 2013
Dear TeenhealthFX,

I'm 17 years old and I'm sort of dating a 22 year old guy for about a month. He's pretty nice and we've just kissed, but I know he's had (a lot, it seems like) sex and even a girlfriend for 3 years. But, I've only kissed one boy before him. I don't know if the age gap is too big, and I'm not sure if im ready for sex, but I do want to get it over with because I know it will hurt. He hasn't pressured me or anything, but I think it might happen eventually! Is he too old for me? Do you think I'm ready for sex


Dear Do You Think I Am Ready For Sex?,

To be honest with you, the fact that you are asking that question suggests that you have reservations that you need to give some more thought to. “I do want to get it over with because I know it will hurt,” is not a good reason to have a sexual relationship. It sounds like you are ripping off a Band Aid, which is not exactly the image you want to conjure up for your first sexual experience. Also there is no written rule that your first sexual encounter will be painful. You should check out What Will Sex Be Like The First Time for more information and some thoughts you may want to take into consideration.

The age difference does concern TeenHealthFX. Five years during this point in your life represents a significant gap in terms of where you are in life. You are most likely in your last year of high school and in a completely different social sphere then someone who is 22. If he were to hang out with your friends, many of them would think it odd because he would be considered much older then you. Just like if you were to hang out with his friends they would look at him funny because he is dating someone in high school. As a result, many relationships like this are conducted with some level of secrecy, which puts the woman at a disadvantage in terms of control. Research shows younger females who are in an isolated relationship are more likely to be exploited and abused.

TeenHealthFX thinks you deserve to be happy. Somehow it doesn’t seem that this scenario is going to bring you much joy.

Signed: TeenhealthFX

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