Bookmark and Share

Not A Virgin, But Not Ready For Sex

Published: December 30, 2014
Dear TeenHealthFX,

Not A Virgin , But Not Ready For SEX. hello, i am 16 years old i am currently in a relationship with my new boyfriend of 8 months & i had a baby last year to my ex boyfriend who is no longer in the picture as for the baby he is no longer in my care as i gave him to my aunty because she couldnt have kids and also because i was not ready for baby .. but recently my new boyfriend had been constantly nagging me for sex & i just feel i am not ready .. because last time i had i sex i feel pregnant and my ex boyfriend didnt want anything to do with me. SO PLEASE HELP how do i tell my new boyfriend i am not ready for sex


Dear Not A Virgin, But Not Ready For Sex,

The reality is that you have told your new boyfriend that you are not ready to be in a sexual relationship, but he does not show any indication that he respects your feelings. “Constantly nagging me for sex,” indicates that you have told him on many occasions how you feel. All indicators point to him continuing to badger you for what he wants, until you give in or he turns to someone else. If you take time to look at this and hopefully you will recognize that his behavior is selfish and he probably has some of the same characteristics as your last boyfriends. Having to deal with your pregnancy, without the other person who bore half the responsibility, must have been a painful experience for you. Your current boyfriend should understand how vulnerable you might be feeling and stop putting pressure on you. 

It is also important for you to understand how being in a vulnerable state might affect you. Because of what happened, you may feel very sensitive to rejection. This could cause you to make a poor decision because you fear the other person leaving you. Just remember you can’t lose what you didn’t have. In a healthy relationship there is a mutual respect for the other person that is born out of genuine concern for your partner. The question isn’t how to tell him, the real question is; why he won’t listen.  

Signed: TeenHealthFX

Ratings