Bookmark and Share

I Feel Like a Boy Trapped in a Girl's Body

Published: August 17, 2016
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I'm thirteen and I was born a girl, but for as long as I can remember, I've longed to be a boy. My mom tells me that when I was around two years old, I started refusing to wear dresses and girly bracelets and all of that stuff and started refusing all of that stereotypical feminine stuff. My family thinks I'm just a tomboy, but I'm so much more. I feel like a boy trapped in a girl's body. I would do anything to wake up one day and have a flat chest and a penis but instead I'm stuck with a horrible body that isn't mine and gives me nightmares. I even want to deal with boners and wet dreams; that's how confined I feel that I am. My life feels so cold and dark and I don't know what to do. I don't know what's wrong with me. Please help me. I know that I can't live like this anymore. I just can't.
Signed: I Feel Like A Boy Trapped In A Girl's Body

Dear I Feel Like A Boy Trapped In A Girl's Body,

To feel like something is wrong with you and to feel like your life is “cold and dark” are certainly difficult things to be dealing with. But these types of issues are even more difficult to cope with when we keep them to ourselves rather than reaching out for help and support. So TeenHealthFX is very glad that you made the decision to reach out to us to share your feelings and your current experience.

TeenHealthFX wants to start by assuring that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. There are many children and teens who grow up having the kinds of feelings you have. There are many other children and teens who feel uncomfortable or somehow misplaced in their gender body. So please know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you and that you are not alone in what you are experiencing.

FX thinks it would be really helpful for you to talk to someone who can provide you with the guidance and support you need. It would be beneficial to find a therapist who is knowledgeable about these kinds of issues and who you feel comfortable talking to. A therapist can provide you a safe space to talk about your feelings and experiences, can help you to find a way to manage and deal with them, and can even help you to find groups of other children and teens dealing with this same issue so you are not feeling so alone in what you are experiencing.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area. In searching for a reputable therapist, make sure whoever is referring you understands the issues that need to be addressed so they can locate a therapist who works with teens and who is knowledgeable about these types of issues.

If at any point you feel you are in a crisis situation, you can call 911 or go to a local emergency room. You can also call The Trevor Project’s 24/7 Lifeline at 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386) or use Trevor Chat, the Trevor Project’s online messaging services.

Signed: TeenHealthFX

Ratings