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Can I Discuss My Sexual Orientation With The Counselor At My Christian School?

Published: April 13, 2015
Dear Can I Discuss My Sexual Orientation With The Counselor At My Christian School?,

I'm a fourteen year old bisexual girl and I go to a Christian School. I'm coming to terms with my sexuality, but I'm still confused and want to talk to a school consoler about it, but I'm not sure if they will be supportive about it. I really don't want them just to tell me that I'm being sinful.


Dear Can I Discuss My Sexual Orientation With The Counselor At My Christian School?,

Since you are experiencing some confusion around coming to terms with your sexuality, TeenHealthFX definitely thinks it would be a good idea for you to speak to someone who can provide you with the support and guidance you need right now. And FX agrees that it would be important for you to be talking to an adult who will relate to you with acceptance, patience and warmth around this issue.

FX cannot know if your school counselor is someone who will be able to relate to you in the way in which you need him/her to. If you think there is a possibility that your counselor can be accepting and open-minded, then FX suggests you reach out to your counselor. You could even start the conversation by saying to them what you said to us – that you need someone who will be accepting of who you are, not someone who will be judgmental or tell you that you need to be someone different than who you really are – and ask your counselor if (given your needs) he/she is someone you can talk to about this. If your counselor tells you that he/she isn’t comfortable with this, or you sense at any time that the responses you are getting are not what you need, then do not pursue this with your counselor any further and find someone else who you can speak to (such as a private therapist experienced in working with teens and experienced in working with LGBTQ issues).

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

For more information, consider reading the following:

You might also find the following resources helpful for you and your family:

  • Bisexual Resource Center

  • The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center is the largest multi-service organization on the East Coast and the second largest LGBT community center in the world. They work to provide various types of services and education related to important LGBT issues. They also offer YES (Youth Enrichment Services), a program to help end isolation for many LGBT youths. FX thinks it would be helpful for you to check out their website. If you do not live in the New York City area to get directly involved with The Center, contact them and tell them where you live so that they can give you recommendations about possible resources in your area.

  • Centerlink (formerly known as The National Association of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Centers) serves over 165 LGBT community centers across the country. These communities serve over 1.5 million people with direct services, educational efforts, and working towards social change.

  • If you decide to tell any family members, you might suggest they join a group like PFLAG, where they can get their own support and guidance as they adjust to what may be a very unexpected situation for them. The mission statement of PFLAG, as written on their website is as follows: “PFLAG promotes the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons, their families and friends through: support, to cope with an adverse society; education, to enlighten an ill-informed public; and advocacy, to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity, and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity.” 

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