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I'm 13 And I Think I Might Be Bisexual

Published: August 27, 2015
Dear TeenHealthFX,

Hi, I'm only 13 but recently I've started feeling odd when put in a situation where there is boys and girls but also when people talk about liking boys. I' think I know that I am not homosexual but I think there may be a chance that I am bisexual. I don't know whether this is a phase or not but I have a very close friend and I told her about the way I was feeling. She then asked me to kiss her and I was very scared. Does the fact I was scared by this offer mean I'm not bisexual and its just a phase or does it mean that I was just startled by what she had said. When I got home later that day I asked myself why did I say no? And the only reason I could think was there was too many people around. I did not think it would seem unnatural to kiss her. I have a boyfriend however and I have kissed him and it felt amazing. So is there a chance I just wanted to kiss her for the feeling or was it genuinely me feeling attracted to her. I would really like maybe a little bid of advice or something I don't really know but I hoped someone may be able to help with these feelings. Thank you


Dear I'm 13 And I Think I Might Be Bisexual,

A phase can be defined asa stage, during the process of change or development. When an adolescent hits puberty, she/he become increasingly aware of his/her sexuality. Ultimately each person needs to be at ease in their sexuality and determine the ways they’re comfortable expressing it. This developmental phase can be intense and can last over a long period of time. 

Unfortunately, very often when an adult tells an adolescent that it is a “phase,” there is the implication that what is bothering the individual will disappear, just give it time. The problem is that, this statement does not give much information and avoids really dealing with the situation. 

From your question, there really is no definitive information that indicates anything about your sexual identity. If TeenHealthFX had to give you an answer, then it sounds like a case of curiosity, which is very common during this stage of development. Too often teens worry they might be gay or bisexual because they are aware that a sizable portion of the population views this in very negative terms.  As a result. The person may fear there is something “wrong” with them and worry about what friends and family might think. As result of these fears, many people (young and old) are reluctant to discuss their feelings, out of fear of being scorned or rejected by those around them. The sad part, is that it is a realistic fear, which is why understanding and support is so important for questioning, gay and transgender youth. 

Your sexual identity will emerge over time and it is important that you embrace it, as you should every part of you. The world would be a much better place if we judged people by their actions and not labels. If a renowned gifted surgeon was going to perform a lifesaving operation on someone you loved, would her/his sexuality matter?  

 

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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