Bookmark and Share

Accepting Of LGBT For Most Part

Published: September 29, 2015
Dear TeenhealthFX,

I had my first crush on a member of the same sex about 5 years ago, and I've accepted that I was gay 2 years ago. However, I've only told about 4 close friends and my therapist and I am still struggling with my sexual orientation. For one, my immediate family is starting to suspect things and that terrifies me although they are accepting of LGBT people for the most part. Also, my dad's side of the family is very religious and homophobic, and I'm scared that they will cut me off when I have to come out to them eventually. Whenever I start to develop feelings for someone I feel ashamed because I was raised to think that gays are abnormal people that I should pity(I know that sounds contradictory to what I said earlier but my parents are not homophobic at all). I have a hard time talking to anyone about these issues(even therapists or close friends) because I feel so embarrassed. Any words of advice? Thanks for listening


Dear Accepting Of LGBT For Most Part,

Hopefully you realize with the perceptions that you were raised with were not correct. If you use yourself as an example, you probably confound many of the stereotypes you grew up learning. The problem is that society can band together to discriminate against group of people because they are judged to be different.

 

The main goal is that you accept yourself for who you are as a person. A person’s sexuality is only one component of the puzzle. The reason that it is important you become comfortable with who you are, is that most likely you are going to face situations where your sexuality is an issue. If you develop confidence in yourself, it will help combat the shame. Unfortunately, you will probably have to deal with bigotry from time to time.

 

Coming out to loved ones can be an extremely anxiety producing event. The uncertainty of the reaction can be frightening. Look at your statement, “they may cut me off.” It is an extreme reaction, but sadly it does happen. Keep working with your therapist and eventually you will find the path you need to take. It also helps to have a great support group to help you get through it. Coming out to parents and family is a process that usually evolves over time. The initial reaction very often will change as they begin to piece the situation together. You are not just someone who is gay, you are someone’s child who happens to be gay.

 

 

Signed: TeenhealthFX

Ratings