TeenHealthFX is very sorry to hear how much you’ve been struggling. To be accurately diagnosed with depression and identify the issues that contributed to your self-harm you need to meet with, and be evaluated by, your pediatrician or a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, clinical social worker or clinical psychologist.
It seems like you have a good relationship with your mother. Although it might be hard, you need to have an honest conversation with her about how you’ve been feeling. It might be helpful if you write down examples before you start speaking to her. This will help you remain focused and calm. If the conversation with your mother proves to be unproductive, or you are simply too worried about how it might go, then you should consider speaking to a trusted adult who can intervene on your behalf. This person could be a family member, school counselor, principal, school nurse, a teacher or your family doctor, who would be able to advocate for your getting the help you need.
You mentioned that you tend to procrastinate, which can lead to feelings of anxiety and stress. Here are some helpful tips to beat procrastination:
Get organized. Write down all important assignments and due dates in a planner or use the calendar app on your phone
Set simple, achievable goals
Create a timeline, schedule and deadline
Do hard stuff first
Reward yourself when you’ve accomplished everything for the day, week or month
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a health professional, you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area, a valuable resource is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) an agency of the U. S. Department of Health and Human Services. https://www.samhsa.gov/find-treatment