Stepdad Molested Me, Part 2

Published: April 22, 2013
Dear Stepdad Molested Me, Part 2,

I wrote the "Stepdad Molested Me" question, and well, first of all, thank you for answering it. I am definitely thinking about getting help. The only problem is that when I first came out about the whole thing, CPS recommended I see a psychologist, so I did. I also saw a psychiatrist and other counselors who worked with teens and stuff. The thing is, they didn't believe me either. And I've wracked my brain so many times and wondered whether or not I'm just crazy, but those memories aren't fake. I know people sometimes make stuff like that up, but I would NEVER do that. That's not me. This whole thing has just been painful and humiliating. I mean, the only thing I could think of was that maybe they didn't believe me since I didn't break down and cry, and I didn't meet their eyes (I hate making eye contact with people when I'm upset; I don't know why). And that I said I was sleeping the whole time at first, but I told the truth after later. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't know if I can deal with another person not believing me. I mean, it came up yesterday, and my mom told me to get over it, that one day I'd grow up and realize how stupid the whole thing was. All the specialists were focused on my relationship with my mom, how we could improve it, and they never wanted to talk about how the whole thing made me feel. Not being believed, sure, but not the effects of the abuse - because they all think I'm lying. I'm afraid to get help because (a) it would mean I can't play normal and (b) I don't want it to drudge up a whole ton of emotions and (c) I cannot deal with not being believed. Not again. I just...I don't even know. I don't know what to do or how to persuade myself to get help or how to even trust someone who's supposed to "help".

Dear Stepdad Molested Me, Part 2,

TeenHealthFX can appreciate your ambivalence about reaching out for help given all that you have described. We would recommend the following:

  • You have not mentioned much about your father, but perhaps he could be a source of support in helping you to decide what to do about this difficult situation and whether or not to see a therapist.
  • We would also recommend that you not make the goal of meeting with a therapist right now as getting someone to believe your story, but rather to use the sessions to help you look at and understand what happened in your interviews and meetings that made it so difficult for people to believe you. Perhaps it would be worthwhile to find out how you were presenting yourself when it came to such a vitally important issue that resulted in so many people not finding what you had to say believable.