How Do I Tell My Step-Brothers That Their Father Molested Me When I Was Younger?

Published: March 10, 2014
Dear How Do I Tell My Step-Brothers That Their Father Molested Me When I Was Younger?,

How do I tell my brother's that their father(we have different dads) molested me when I was younger?

Dear How Do I Tell My Step-Brothers That Their Father Molested Me When I Was Younger?,

Before addressing how to talk to your step-brothers about what happened to you, TeenHealthFX wants to make sure that you are getting the support and help you need to deal with this situation. If you haven’t already told a trusted adult about what happened, FX recommends you talk to an adult who can intervene on your behalf as soon as possible. You could speak to your mom, a teacher or counselor at school or your family doctor – someone who can make sure you are not at the contact of your step-father given what happened and someone who can help arrange for counseling for you and your family so that what happened to you can be dealt with.

Once you have spoken to a trusted adult about it, FX recommends asking that adult how to discuss this with your step-brothers in terms of when and how you would like to disclose this to them. What you went through was a terrible thing and you understandably have many complicated feelings about it. But this information will probably be very difficult for your step-brother’s to take in as most people would not want to view their parent as being capable of such actions. That said, FX does recommend that if you talk to them you do so with an adult present, such as your mother and/or a reputable therapist. It would be helpful for an adult to be there to make sure that the various feelings that could come up for everyone involved in the discussion are being adequately addressed.

TeenHealthFX is very sorry to hear that you were sexually abused by your step-father when you were younger. We can appreciate your desire to speak to your step-brothers about this, but we think it is important that you first get the help you need and that you discuss when and how to talk to them about it before raising the issue with them.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

You can also contact the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), 24 hours, 7days a week for help and information. You can search for a local counseling center on their website or use their online hotline.