Cutting Is Getting Worse Without My Boyfriend

Published: October 31, 2012
Dear Cutting Is Getting Worse Without My Boyfriend,

I have been cutting my self for a year now, but i didnt do it as often when i was with my bf. i didnt speak to him for 3 weeks due to cheer tryouts and during spring break. I kept cutting and it got worse after the break up. We started seeing each other again this summer, didnt tell our friends but our friends new. and we decied to see no one else. even though he is only 3 months older than me he is a grade ahead of me and school got really tough for him. he was in debate and had so much homework and barley slept. wwe argreed he didnt have time for me and we should wait a little why. not even a week later he asked a girl tto HC and now they are "official" im heart broken, and my cutting is getting worse. My parents already know, and my mom is keeping a careful eye on me. What do i do about the love of my life?</3 - Cutting my heart

Dear Cutting Is Getting Worse Without My Boyfriend,

TeenHealthFX can appreciate you are feeling heartbroken right now given the situation you are in. You might also be feeling somewhat anxious or afraid if you found that your cutting lessened when you were with your boyfriend in terms of whether or not you will now have increased urges to cut given the two of you are no longer dating.

While we understand the pain you must be feeling regarding your relationship with this person, we do not think that your energies and focus should be going into how to deal with him and your relationship with him, but rather into you and why you have been cutting for the past year. FX strongly recommends that you meet with a reputable therapist, such as a clinical social worker or clinical psychologist, who can meet with you and help you get a better understanding of what has been contributing to your desire to cut over the past year, as well as what it was about being with your boyfriend that lessened your desire to cut. Having a better understanding of the factors that contributed to your self-cutting will allow for you to begin to effectively address these factors so you can get to a place where you do not want to self-harm regardless of whether you are dating someone or not.

FX is glad to hear that your mother is there as a support, but given the situation we do think that professional help would be beneficial. So please speak to your mother soon about setting up a consultation with a therapist in your area who has experience in working with teenagers.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

You can also contact the Self-Injury Hotline (information only, not a crisis line) at 1-800-DONT-CUT, 1-800-366-8288.