TeenHealthFX thinks the first thing you need to do is to start meeting with a reputable therapist, such as a clinical social worker or clinical psychologist, who has experience working with teens and with self-harming behaviors. A therapist could be beneficial to you in terms of working with you on developing alternate coping mechanisms so you don’t rely on self-harming behaviors, as well as addressing the underlying issues that contribute to your urges to self-harm. A therapist could work with you on this issue of being picked on by your peers and can help you get to a point where you are not so distraught that you are contemplating suicide. While your relationship with a therapist is not the same as with a family member, friend, or boyfriend, it might feel very good to you and helpful to you to have a caring, trustworthy person who can be there for you with a listening ear and with guidance and support.
As for this guy, once you have started therapy, you can say something like, “I know you said you would want a relationship with me if I weren’t cutting. I want to let you know that this has been a problem for me, but it is something I am working towards stopping. I have started therapy and I’m hoping that my therapist and I can work on this together. But I need you to know that it might take time. Just like someone trying to quit smoking – the change probably won’t happen overnight, but will take time, work, and support from the people around them. So what I want to know is whether or not my working towards this goal is enough for you or you need this to be completely resolved before you would get involved with me?” You need to be prepared that you might not hear the answer you want, but if you want to know where he stands, this is the easiest way to find out. And if he is not ready for a relationship right now, that is something else you can get comfort and support from your therapist with.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.
If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433), available 24 hours a day, or the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.
You can also contact the Self-Injury Hotline (information only, not a crisis line) at 1-800-DON’T-CUT, 1-800-366-8288.
70% of youth in juvenile justice systems have at least one mental health condition 6
33% of adolescents in America are victim to sexual, physical, verbal, or emotional dating abuse. 18
Nearly two in five 12th graders report using some kind of vaping device in the past year. 7
1 in 4 teens contract a sexually transmitted disease every year. 11
In 2017, persons aged 15–24 years represented 62.6% of all chlamydia cases. 10
More than 130 Americans die everyday from an opioid overdose. 9
In the next 24 hours, 1,439 teens will attempt suicide. 14
In the next 24 hours, 2,795 teenage girls will become pregnant 12
Only 50.6% of U.S. youth aged 6-17 with a mental health disorder received treatment in the last year. 8
90% of daily tobacco users begin by age 18 13
Many teens reported feeling overwhelmed (31%) and depressed or sad (30%) as a result of stress. 16
37.3 percent of 12th graders reported vaping in the past 12 months 15
Two-thirds of those who developed alcohol or substance use disorders have had a mental health disorder. 17
In 2016, 56 percent of deaths among passenger vehicle occupants ages 16-19 were drivers 22
21% of all new HIV diagnoses in the U.S. are among people aged 13-24 years old, most of those being 20-24. 19
59% of all students in grades 9 to 12 indicated that they had not yet had sex. 21
1 in 3 young people will be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship 23
50% of young people who experience rape or physical or sexual abuse will attempt to commit suicide 24
There was a 78% increase in e-cigarette use between 2017 and 2018. 2
1 in 6 U.S. youth aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year. 1
Suicide is the second leading cause of death for youth ages 12-18. 3
Young people aged 15–24 years acquire half of all new STDs 4
In 2017, 5455 teenagers died from an overdose 5
44.88% of teens feel stressed “all the time.” 25
59% of U.S. teens have personally experienced at least one type of abusive online behaviors. 26
In 2017 2,734 teenagers (ages 13-19) died in the United States from crash injuries. 27
Roughly 40% of teenagers will try drugs at least once, which means 60% will not. 28
The average 12th grader spends approximately 2 hours per day texting. 29