What do I do when I don't want to stop cutting? I've got permanent scars on my arms and everyone says I cut too deep but I feel like I haven't cut deep enough. I don't cut because it makes me feel better, or makes me numb, or gets out anger, or for attention, or for any of the other reasons that people cut. I cut solely to cut deeper. Every time I cut I try to cut deeper. I feel like I will never be able to stop until I have scars that are big enough. I feel like I NEED these scars and until I have them I am not allowed to stop. I don't care about anyone else's feelings on it or about my own safety. I don't want to get better. Not until I have the scars I want. I feel like I need to prove to the world that I'm not weak. That I don't have 'scratches'. That I'm serious and important. I don't feel like I'm worth anybody's time or worth getting better until both of my arms have ridges from elbow to wrist. I've cut deep enough that I already have lots of raised scars, and once my friend threatened to call an ambulance when he saw my cut. But it's still not good enough and I don't want to stop.
TeenHealthFX thinks that it is crucial given the way you are describing your thoughts, feelings and behaviors associated with self-cutting that you do whatever is necessary to get professional help right away. The kinds of details you are giving about this issue strongly suggest how much turmoil and pain you are in. FX’s experience is that when someone’s pain is that profound they need immediate professional help from reputable mental health professionals.
It would be helpful for you to be meeting 1-2 times per week with a reputable mental health professional, such as a clinical social worker or clinical psychologist, as well as to meet with a reputable psychiatrist who can assess whether you would benefit from psychotropic medication.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.
70% of youth in juvenile justice systems have at least one mental health condition 6
33% of adolescents in America are victim to sexual, physical, verbal, or emotional dating abuse. 18
Nearly two in five 12th graders report using some kind of vaping device in the past year. 7
1 in 4 teens contract a sexually transmitted disease every year. 11
In 2017, persons aged 15–24 years represented 62.6% of all chlamydia cases. 10
More than 130 Americans die everyday from an opioid overdose. 9
In the next 24 hours, 1,439 teens will attempt suicide. 14
In the next 24 hours, 2,795 teenage girls will become pregnant 12
Only 50.6% of U.S. youth aged 6-17 with a mental health disorder received treatment in the last year. 8
90% of daily tobacco users begin by age 18 13
Many teens reported feeling overwhelmed (31%) and depressed or sad (30%) as a result of stress. 16
37.3 percent of 12th graders reported vaping in the past 12 months 15
Two-thirds of those who developed alcohol or substance use disorders have had a mental health disorder. 17
In 2016, 56 percent of deaths among passenger vehicle occupants ages 16-19 were drivers 22
21% of all new HIV diagnoses in the U.S. are among people aged 13-24 years old, most of those being 20-24. 19
59% of all students in grades 9 to 12 indicated that they had not yet had sex. 21
1 in 3 young people will be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship 23
50% of young people who experience rape or physical or sexual abuse will attempt to commit suicide 24
There was a 78% increase in e-cigarette use between 2017 and 2018. 2
1 in 6 U.S. youth aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year. 1
Suicide is the second leading cause of death for youth ages 12-18. 3
Young people aged 15–24 years acquire half of all new STDs 4
In 2017, 5455 teenagers died from an overdose 5
44.88% of teens feel stressed “all the time.” 25
59% of U.S. teens have personally experienced at least one type of abusive online behaviors. 26
In 2017 2,734 teenagers (ages 13-19) died in the United States from crash injuries. 27
Roughly 40% of teenagers will try drugs at least once, which means 60% will not. 28
The average 12th grader spends approximately 2 hours per day texting. 29