Sexually Assaulted At A Friend's Party

Published: May 14, 2012
Dear TeenHealthFX,
About three months ago I was sexual assaulted at my friends party. These two boys who I thought were my friends were there and we were all talking. There were five of us, two boys ands us three girls. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong by flirting with them but then it started to get really physical and they got really aggressive, with all of us. They tackled me and started kissing me and trying to unbutton my shirt but i kept kicking and screaming. After a while they gave up and they went to the other girls and held them down. I think they all thought it was some kinda of game because they were all laughing and giggling but something didn't seem right. Then they came back to me and dragged me down the stairs, I was horrified and they unbuttoned my shirt. I heard the other girls laughing and i was crying and screaming for them to help me. After they let me go i walked home and cried for several hours. The next day the other two girls told me a was over reacting and they were mad at me for leaving the party. Am i over reacting? I really need to know because this is burning me up inside. Have i been crying for no real reason? Because it felt so wrong and bad. I just don't know what to do
Signed: Sexually Assaulted At A Friend's Party

Dear Sexually Assaulted At A Friend's Party,

 

TeenHealthFX does NOT think that you are overreacting by being upset about what happened to you, and completely understands that any person in your situation might feel horrified. Those boys had absolutely no right to get physical with you in the way that they did, and probably did a good job of frightening you because you did not know how far they were going to take things. On top of which, your female friends stood by laughing at their behavior rather than considering your feelings and coming to your aid. In addition, even if these guys were just “joking” and the girls were looking at it as simply a joke as well, like you FX has a hard time finding the humor in making jokes and games out of the idea of being sexually assaulted.

 

FX suggested that you speak to all involved and let them know that you find absolutely nothing humorous about what happened at this party and their making jokes and games around the idea of sexual assault. And if your friends are unable to see things from your perspective and continue to feel you are just taking this too seriously, FX suggests that you let them know that the problem here is with their perspective on this, not yours. And, if this is the case, FX also recommends that you re-evaluate your friendships with these people if they are fine treating you this way and disregarding your feelings.

 

If you continue to have trouble dealing with this issue, or have any further problems with these particular people, FX strongly suggests that you speak with an adult about it, such as your parents, a school counselor, a teacher, or any other trusted adult. 

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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