Abusive To My Girlfriend Part 3

Published: May 14, 2012
Dear TeenHealthFX,
it's me again. i wrote the question 'abusive to my girlfriend' and 'abusive to my girlfriend part2' , i guess this is part 3. and so you asked me why i don't want to go see a therapist and the reason i don't want to is because im extremely embarrassed about my behavior and about how long it's been going on. i was even embarrassed to be writing here but supposedly its anonymous so that's why i was ok with this...
Signed: Abusive To My Girlfriend Part 3

Dear Abusive To My Girlfriend Part 3,

 

Just to reassure you, our website is anonymous – we don’t get any identifying information about you (name, email address, etc.) when you write in a question. And when readers voluntarily give us their name or email address as part of their question, that information is deleted before their question is posted.

As for the embarrassment you are feeling about your behavior towards your girlfriend, FX certainly understands that you are feeling this way – but we do hope that you do not let it get in the way of your reaching out for help. For one thing, as odd as this is going to sound, FX thinks that you should feel good that you feel badly about your behavior. If you didn’t feel badly, it would mean that you didn’t care one bit about the pain you’ve inflicted on your girlfriend – and what would that say about you and how you tick? FX thinks it would say something kind of scary. So remember that it is good thing that you feel badly because it means you have a heart, you have empathy, you can feel for other people and don’t want to hurt others, and you therefore have a very good chance of successfully working on this problem. The other thing FX wants to very strongly stress is that a therapist is not there to judge you. If anything, FX could imagine that a therapist would have respect for you in reaching out for help and wanting to change this problem despite how difficult the process of change might be for you. Therapy and talking to someone about certain problems can be tough because it can make the situation feel so much more real and it can easily bring up the client’s feelings about what has been going on – but the tough moments are worth what you can get out of it in the end.

FX appreciates the process of therapy may be a tough one for you – but don’t let any potential difficulties around it deter you. Good things in life don’t always come easy. And if you are seeing a good, experienced therapist, you should not be judged and you should have someone there for you who will help you to deal with whatever feelings come up for you about what has gone on.

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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